


Flipped

by irishmacchiato



Category: DCU, Supergirl (TV 2015), supercorp - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gen, Highschool AU, SuperCorp, kara x lena - Freeform, karlena
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-03-29 00:12:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13915245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishmacchiato/pseuds/irishmacchiato
Summary: This is a High School AU where in Kara Danvers is quite the popular one compared to Lena. They start to hook up, and Kara is the type of person who doesn't do relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

Lena really liked letting her mind wander in class. It’s not like it was necessary for her to listen since she already know the lecture before hand. She used this time when her teachers were blabbering on something she already knew to think about how she liked how it all started. It seemed how satirical though, the predicament she’s currently in. Though this was the part she was fond of. She liked launching herself a couple of months prior to escape the negative emotions she felt now.

 

Lena loves to overthink on things she’s handling, although she wasn’t sure if that was such a good thing anymore. Maybe now she was just holding onto something she should let go. She recently delved into a complex situation, she’s tangled onto webs of adverse circumstance.  She really hated this inner battle she seemed to be having frequently. It was getting to the point where she was actually considering just paying attention to her teacher, who looks like is having a hard time discussing his own lecture. In the end though, Lena started to reflect on those old memories. She just loved those memories.

 

 ***

 

Lena recalled the day it all started, even though it started out like this, Lena didn’t really feel ashamed of it at all. She was at a house party, which totally wasn’t her thing. Yes, she’s fond of her family hosting some sorts of charity or gala, but this isn’t the kind of party she was accustomed to. If Lena was going to drink, she wanted to do it only around close friends she could trust. She’s heard these kinds of party though (the one she’s currently at) that it usually doesn’t end well and that anything could happen. She could be jumping out of a window in five minutes in order to flee from the police or an unexpected arrival from a parent.

 

 _See, overthinking._ Lena was being to wary though, and her older brother Lex was trying to get her to relax. Lex has always been like that. He knows how Lena works most of the time. They have a very caring relationship as siblings, however they argue on certain views quite frequently. Lex was only 2 years older than Lena, and he was back on a little vacation from uni.  Lex knew of a party that a couple of his old friends from school would be attending, and he knew that current students from that school would be there as well. That school of course is where his little sister is attending now. Lex figured he would take Lena and let her  let loose, and if he’s in a bit of luck, he wants his sister to mingle with couple of kids from school.  

 

Lena buried herself on her books, she loves reading in advance. She’s actually a nerd if that’s even the right term to describe how she’s absurdly versed in academics. So she’s sitting at home on her comfortable sofa reading the _Principles of Physics by Michael Nelkon._ That had been it really. Lena had just been sitting. She also had just gotten into a big fight with her best friend Veronica and had found herself planless on a Friday night, which was something that never happened.

 

Lex had hastily told Lena to throw on something cute and then ten minutes later they were out of the door and then fifteen minutes after that, they had arrived at this ginormous house.

 

Lena found herself  at some point- drinking a very minimal amount of alcohol, she wasn’t that type who gets wasted at a party she wasn’t even invited, and her apprehension about the situation making her nervous to lose complete control. But after enough persuasion from her brother Lex, Lena had taken a shot of tequila, and then another shot, and what it seemed like a few shots after that. Lex being satisfied that Lena had taken a couple of shots, then left to go reunite with some old friends.

 

This what made Lena hate herself when she’s drinking, she knew alcohol had an abominable effect on her. She sure will curse at herself after tonight. That had been the trigger, and soon enough Lena had downed a couple of more shots. She was definitely drunk at this point, but she was still semi-aware of what was going on around her.

 

Soon enough, Lena was in a large room, swaying and grinding on a bunch of sweaty bodies. Lena realized how much fun she was having at this moment. She would have to thank her brother later.

 

This was the part of the memory though that made her question whether she should thank Lex for dragging her along, or curse her brother forever.

 

As the bodies swayed to the bass of the music, she felt hands attach to her hips, pulling her in closer. Lena didn’t think anything of it because it had already happened so many times that night. She simply just pushed herself up against the person and ground her backside into their hips.

 

If Lena was in her rightful mind and conscious self, she would have realized that she was grinding on a girl. But Lena was drunk, so it didn’t even register to her that there was a girl behind her, not a boy. The hands that were slowly moving from her hips to the front of her pelvic area were feminine and delicate. That was the first hint. The second hint was that by now, Lena still didn’t feel a hard- on pressed to her backside.

 

Obviously Lena didn’t pick up on those hints, so she didn’t protest at all when those hands had dipped slightly under the waistband of her jeans. She should have noticed that the fingers slender and quite gentle compared into a man, but she was drunk.

 

Through the fog that had settled in over her mind, Lena realized that before she let anyone shove their hands down her pants, she should at least get a look at their face. Lena spun around and placed her hands on the chest of this boy.

 

That is when it finally dawned onto Lena that this person was not a boy and was in fact a girl. The first hint came in the form of the hair. This girl’s hair was almost golden blonde, that fell in waves down her shoulders. Then, Lena surveyed the perfect red lips. She regarded those lips for a while actually. Then she took a note of the makeup surrounding the girl’s eyes. Then, she realized how those eyes instantly made her heart skip a beat. They were a dazzling ocean blue that were highlighted by the flash of lights through out the house.

 

The final hint for Lena that this was definitely a girl came with the fact that Lena was not resting her hands on well defined pecs. Instead, Lena was resting her hands on boobs. Nice boobs in fact.

 

The weird thing for Lena was that she had never thought of any girl like this before. She had never wanted to just kiss the shit out of a girl (okay she might have but this one is something different). Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was just sheer attraction. Either way, Lena wanted this girl badly. She was stunning. There was something picking at the back of Lena’s mind telling her that this girl was familiar, but Lena decided to ignore that for the time being.

 

Lena crashed her lips onto the blonde’s, not hesitating to force a tongue down the girl’s throat. The girl kissed back fervently, placing her hands back on Lena’s hips. The mystery girl dug her fingertips into Lena’s hips, and Lena moaned at the feeling. This wasn’t like Lena- she was not fond of hooking up with some random stranger, but at the moment Lena found it extremely hot and she didn’t want it to stop.

 

Somehow, the two had managed to stumble around the house, searching for vacant room. After minutes of searching, the two had finally found an empty room in this large house. Sure, it was a cramped bathroom, but it would do. The fact that the two girls basically had to be on top of each other didn’t seem to be a problem at all.

 

The blonde girl lifted Lena up and placed her on the counter before stepping between Lena’s legs. Lena didn’t waste any time to wrap her legs around the girl’s torso and bring her closer. The alcohol was fueling Lena’s every actions at this point, making her bold and daring. Something she wasn’t aware she was capable of, because the normal Lena would not have let this situation go this far.

 

The girl had attached her lips to Lena’s neck sucking harshly while threading her hands into Lena’s hair. Lena started to pant and rub herself on the girl’s abdomen, and if she was really paying attention onto details, she would notice those well formed abs. Lena felt love bite form on her neck, and couldn’t decide whether to focus on the pain or the pleasure. She decided for the time being she should just grind herself harder onto the girl, who moaned against Lena’s neck at the actions.

 

Just when the girl had bitten down on Lena’s collarbone, it went quiet downstairs before a noise tore the girls away from their current actions.

 

“COPS!”

 

the blonde girl instantly removed herself from Lena and darted out of the bathroom before Lena could even blink. Then Lena processed what that scream had meant and she too was tearing down the stairs and out the back door.

 

As Lena’s feet pounded against the ground, she couldn’t help but think.

 

_Damn I didn’t even get her name_

 

*** 

 

Lena blushed to herself as she realized she was thinking about something like that in the middle of math class this time. Most people wouldn’t have such strong connection with a memory of a random hook up, but for Lena it was different.

 

For Lena, that fragment of her memory was of a simpler time. A time when she didn’t even know Kara’s name. A time where feelings weren’t suddenly such a problem. A time where tears wasn’t misspend for someone. A time where she didn’t cry over that blonde girl. A time where it seemed to be completely natural.  

 

Sure things sound pretty negative in the present moment, but for a while, Lena had actually been happy. Lena had really been glad that drunken hook up had happened. Lena was glad in the current moment that she had so much time to think in maths, because her mind was once again drifting off to the past.

 

***

 

Lena remembered how even two weeks after the party, the blonde girl invades her mind. It wasn’t a constant obsessive sort of thing, or an all- consuming state of one’s self. but if Lena had too much down time, she would find those blue eyes dancing across her thoughts. Once in a while she would even have dreams about this girl. The dreams never seemed to have a happy ending. She should’ve taken that as a sign. She should’ve listened to her wiser self. Not her demons.  

 

No matter how much time passed though, Lena knew that the girl would always be poking at the back of her mind. It wasn’t just the way the girl’s lips had felt against her own lips and skin, it also had to do with how effortless everything had seemed. How easy it was to kiss her. How the blond made her feel calm and complete.

 

As cheesy as this next part got, it actually had happened. Coincidences like these usually just happened on sappy novels and movies.

 

Lena had been getting changed after gym class one day, which was something she always dreaded. She didn’t dread it because she was self conscious or anything like that. She actually liked her body frame most of the time. But sometimes she thinks her boobs are too big. It seemed like everyone had smaller boobs than her, or that everyone notices it.

 

What Lena hated about changing in the locker room was that there were five gym classes this period, which meant that the locker room was stuffed. It was always full of sweaty girls all trying to look their best for the rest of the day. What was worse was that there weren’t a lot of mirrors, so all of the girls packed in even more tightly around whatever mirror space was available.

 

Lena had gotten so fed up of the situation that she had gone to her counselor and asked if there was any possible way for her to switch into a less crowded gym period. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t have been possible.

 

Fortunately, the class Lena had the period after was extremely easy and a blow off for her, so her counselor said that she could just take the final now and if she passed it, she could have an off period for the rest of the year. That meant that she could just wait around for everyone to finish changing and then take her sweet time in the empty locker room.

 

Lena had just gotten the result of her exam back yesterday and she had passed her final with flying colors, as expected. This meant that today she had an off period and could take her time in the locker room. She sat down on one of the benches and slowly watched the girls trickle out of the locker room. Eventually, the bell had rung and Lena was overjoyed at the fact that she had this locker room all to herself.

 

Lena peeled her gym shirt over her head and tossed it on the floor and her gym shorts soon followed after.  Just when Lena was reaching into her locker to grab her jeans, she heard the locker room door open and the hurried footsteps of someone rushing in.

 

Lena turned around, curious about who else could possibly have time to come to the locker room, when she saw them. The blue eyes, then the wavy blonde hair. Then the perfect familiar lips.

 

Both girls just stared at each other in complete shock. Then the wheels started to turn in their heads. That’s when Lena remembered that the girl from the party had looked familiar. A couple of seconds later, and something in Lena’s head clicked. This girl had looked familiar because she went to Lena’s school. She was rather a popular face come to think about it. She was certain now that this girl is somehow related to Alex Danvers, their family is quite well known in the school actually. Lena Luthor also came from a decent and wealthy family, but not as well- liked compared to their clique. Also, they had gym the same period. Lena had caught hurried glimpses of the girl as she rushed to get changed in multiple times in the past.

 

As the two stood there, Lena took in the rest of the girl’s features that she hadn’t been to focused on that one night. The girl was taller than her. She had a floral dress on, which showcased the girl’s suntanned legs and her well defined arms. Her complexion was gorgeous and today she didn’t have much make up on. Lena found the girl flawless.

 

“How?” the girl had tried to form some sort of sentence, but had just ended up trailing off.  It was then that Lena realized that this was the first time she had heard the girl speak. Apart from moans, Lena hadn’t heard any other noises leave the blonde’s lips up until now.

 

The girl’s voice was wonderful. It was music to Lena’s ears. She found that it was the perfect tone, and she would do anything to get this girl to talk to her for hours.

 

While Lena seemed to be finding more way as to be captivated by the girl before her, the girl seemed to be doing something different. She was staring Lena up and down, because she was still in her bra and underwear.

 

Soon enough Lena noticed the hungry look in the girl’s eyes and how she was practically having eye sex with her. Lena wasn’t drunk this time though, so she decided she wanted to learn more about this girl rather than shove her tongue down her throat.

 

“Why are you here right now? Class is currently--”

 

Lena was cut off as the girl quickly closed the gap between her and Lena and pinned Lena’s wrists by her sides against the locker. Soon the blonde had covered Lena’s lips with her own. Lena found herself instantly kissing back, the blonde’s lips having the same effect on her as they had the first time.

 

After kissing for a little, Lena decided to run her tongue across the girl’s lips hoping for access. Instead, the girl pulled away and looked down at Lena, still keeping her arms pinned down.

 

“My name’s Kara by the way, what’s yours?”

 

The blonde cocked her head to the side, waiting for Lena to respond. The question caught Lena off guard and she was slightly out of breath, so she took a little time to respond.

 

“It’s Lena”

 

“Well, Lena you are very beautiful, and very sexy” with that Kara had crashed her lips back onto Lena’s. This time she didn’t waste any time in biting down Lena’s lower lip and sucking on it. Lena grunted and opened her mouth, moving her tongue with Kara’s. Lena tried to get her hands free from Kara’s grip so she could intertwine them in her blonde hair, but Kara noticed Lena’s struggle.

 

Instead of releasing Lena’s wrists, Kara took Lena’s arms and raised them so they were above Lena’s head. Kara then proceeded to move her lips from Lena’s, down to Lena’s chin, across her jawline, and up to her ear. Kara nibbled softly on Lena’s earlobe and then went to whisper in Lena’s ear.

 

“Did I mention that you are really really sexy” And then with that Kara kissed the skin just beneath Lena’s ears. She had intended on moving her lips down but shen she felt Lena shudder, she continued to press kisses on the spot. Eventually, a love bite had been made on Lena’s ivory skin.

 

With that Kara finally released Lena’s arms and slowly slid her hands down so that they rested on Lena’s waist. Kara flashed a toothy grin at Lena, and Lena felt her knees go weak.

 

Rather abruptly, Kara thrusted her hips out their hips crashed together in an intense amount of friction. Lena moaned loudly at the contact. Kara’s grin turned into a smirk.

 

Lena attempted to move her hips but Kara pressed them down.

 

“Mmm…I’m sorry Lena, but I’m gonna have to leave you hanging. You see, I only came down here to grab my glasses which I had left in the locker, but I got distracted by your beautiful body” Lena blushed at Kara’s words.

 

Kara turned around and disappeared around the row of lockers. Lena was slightly confused, but took the opportunity to slip her jeans and shirt on. Just when she had finished spraying some perfume, she heard footsteps that indicated Kara’s presence.

 

“I got them” Kara said while holding up a pair of glasses. Her smile faltered a little when she realized that Lena was now fully clothed.

 

“What a shame, you’re all covered up now.” Kara said as she walked back in front of Lena. She leaned in and pecked Lena on the lips quickly before turning around.

 

“You will most definitely be seeing me around Lena” Kara said before walking towards the door, making sure to give Lena a show by swaying her hips.

 

Lena sat there still and slightly dazed by the recent events. The sound of the locker room door closing shook her out of her thoughts. She collected the rest of her things and made her way out of the locker room

 

***

 

Lena sat there and realized she was so attracted by Kara because everything was so spontaneous. She loved not knowing when Kara was going to grab her and kiss her. She loved being in the moment. Plus, she didn’t have to feel like any strings were attached. Her and Kara would just casually have sex and go their separate ways.

 

Lena hated herself for being the one who actually complicate things for them. Kara still just saw everything as a hook up. Lena on the other hand, had developed feelings for the blonde girl. Every time that Kara would leave, Lena got angry that Kara wouldn’t ask for a relationship. It puzzled Lena that this could go on for three months now and Kara didn’t seem to have any desire to make them official.

 

Now as Lena looked back on other memories, sadness started to creep in. She knew the sadness started to settle in when the feelings had started to develop. Lena had just wanted to call Kara hers. She had considered multiple times on telling Kara, but she figured that would just scare Kara away. Kara might seem like a nice flower child on the outside, but she was actually one of those people that just preferred hook up and sex.

 

Lena knew she should probably stop thinking about these things, but before she could help herself, she was hurtling back to the past again.

 

***

 

Lena pushed open the front doors of the school and walked in. Everywhere she looked people were gathering with their friends in the fifteen or so minutes left before first period would start.

 

Most of the time, Lena just went straight to class and read a book or talked with her friends that were already there. As she made her way down the hallways, she thought back to the previous night.

 

Kara had just randomly shown up at her house. The second Lena had opened the door; Kara had been all over he. Lena loved Kara’s element of surprise. It turned her on. Lena couldn’t help but smirk to herself about how amazing the night had been. She could tell she was sore as she made her way to her classroom. Kara just knew how to make her feel good.

 

What had been different this time was that normally after they were done, Kara would just get up and leave, making sure to be seductive as possible. Lena knew she always did this to be a tease. It left Lena wanting more., which made her even more sexually charged for their next encounter. Kara knew exactly how to work her up. Lena actually loved the fact that no one knew her as well as Kara did.

 

This time though, Kara had stayed. It had been a little weird at first, because Lena was not used to it happening. She remembered Kara crawling her way back up her body and kissing her lips softly before wrapping her arms around Lena’s waist and nuzzling into her softly. Lena smiled to herself as she thought about cute it had been. That was new too. Most of the time, she just considered Kara sexy. She had never considered her Kara gentle and caring.

 

After Lena had caught her breath, Kara had dressed the two of them in comfy clothes and thrown a movie. Lena’s heart had actually been swelling because of Kara’s affectionate actions. She remembered Kara holding her in her arms and kissing the side of her head from time to time. After the movie had ended, Kara had kissed Lena goodnight and gone home.

 

This new side of Kara had completely captured Lena’s heart. That’s when she knew it wasn’t just going to be about sex and kissing for Lena. She felt something for the blonde now that went beyond lust.

 

As Lena continued to walk, blonde hair caught her attention. She knew instantly it was Kara. She looked gorgeous today.

 

Talking to Kara at school was always a sensitive subject though. Kara wanted to keep what they were doing a secret. She said it added thrill of what they were doing. Lena had to admit though, it really did. It was hot when they would pass by each other in the hall way without saying a word but then later meet up in a random storage closet to make out. It was exciting and so far it hadn’t get old.  Lena figured that maybe things would change though. Last night had felt different. It felt as if something had shifted between them. She thought that maybe she could go up and talk to Kara as if thy were more than just acquaintances.

 

Lena walked up to Kara, who was standing at her locker with a couple of friends. She reached out and grabbed Kara’s wrist, gaining the blonde’s attention.

 

“Hey…how’s your morning?” Lena said with an energetic tone.

 

“Um, fine thanks” Kara said, pushing up her glasses by the bridge of her nose whilst glancing at her friends nervously.

 

Lena moved her fingers down to Kara’s hand, attempting to intertwine their fingers. Kara’s eyes widened in shock and she jerked her hand away.

 

“Can I help you with anything?” the way Kara had said it made it seem like she was disgusted with Lena. Lena would have been lying if she said it hadn’t broken her heart to hear those words.

 

“Kara…why are you acting like this?”

 

“Maybe it’s because I barely know you? I mean how would you act if a random stranger just walked up to you and tired to hold your hand and be affectionate?

 

Random stranger. The words made Lena’s heart sting. She couldn’t even bear to look at Kara anymore. She had been wrong. Kara was still the same person she had been before, and now Lena didn’t like that one bit. She hated herself for having these feelings that the blonde obviously didn’t reciprocate. She shook he rhead and turned around, hurrying to the girl’s bathroom. It was a small bathroom with only two stalls, and no one really ever bothered to go in it. It was perfect for hiding away from everyone else in this crowded school.

 

Lena hated herself for crying, but that’s what she wanted to do right now. She hated crying over other people, but she was always one to get attached and then have her heart crushed. This hadn’t been the first time she had found herself in the bathroom crying.

 

The tears slowly traveled down her cheeks. It wasn’t sobbing, it was just that sort of silent crying where tears slipped out on occasion.

 

Lena had been leaning on one of the sinks, evaluating the current situation when the door swung open. Her head shot up and she saw those blue eyes that made her breath get caught in her throat.

 

“Babe…you’re crying” Kara said while slowly moving closer. Lena knew that Kara would be uncomfortable with this. Kara didn’t really do emotions. She didn’t normally stick around with people for that long to witness stuff like this. Lena knew Kara only stayed with people to hook up.

 

Lena just sort of nodded at Kara’s words and let out a slight hiccup. Kara moved closer and wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist. Lena was surprised at the intimate contact. She hadn’t expected anything this gentle from Kara.

 

Kara hummed to herself as she gazed down at Lena. She leaned in and kissed the tears off Lena’s face. Kara couldn’t help but blush at the gesture. She sighed out when Kara pulled away.

 

“Lena…hey…don’t be upset babe… we had an agreement that we weren’t going to talk at school, you know that. I acted like that because you walked up with my friends all around me. I had to act like I didn’t know you. Please don’t’ be mad baby.”

 

Kara was looking at Lena with an adorable pleading look in her eyes, and Lena knew there was no way she could be mad when Kara was looking at her like that.

 

“I’m not mad…It’s just…” Before Lena could express her feelings. Kara had her off by placing her lips on Lena’s. It was slow and gentle kiss. It fogged up Lena’s mind and made her forget that she should probably tell Kara how she felt.

 

Soon enough, Kara had gotten needy and was licking at Lena’s bottom lip. Before Lena even had the chance to part her lips, Kara had pulled away abruptly. She ran over to the door and since it was an old bathroom, it still had a lock on it. Kara locked the door and then turned around to face Lena. She grabbed her and slammed her up the door.

 

 _The old Kara is back now,_ was all Lena had time to think before she felt a leg parting hers and felt lips attached to her neck. She let out a groan as Kara’s lips travel down to her collarbone, sucking it harshly. She knew there would be a mark there.

 

Lena pushed her hands inside Kara’s shirt and ran her nails up and down Kara’s taut back, leaving marks of her own. Kara’s thigh would occasionally hit her crotch making her moan. Kara kissed her way back up Lena’s neck and attached their lips. Lena started to nibble on Kara’s bottom lip when the blonde jerked away.

 

“Wait…um, that’s enough. I have to get to class. See you around” Kara said before lightly pushing Lena away from the door and exiting.

 

Lena just sat there dazed. Eventually she looked in the dirty mirror and fixed her hair and makeup before setting off to class.

 

 ***

 

The thing was, as Lena sat there towards the end of the class, she realized she could count about ten or more situations very similar to that one. It happened all the time. Kara would act like Lena was nothing one minute and then suddenly be all over her another. Plus, Kara had a way of making Lena feel like she was so important when she was with her. Kara was playing hard to get. Like Lena had realized before, it was all spontaneous. She never knew when Kara would actually acknowledge her and give her the time of the day.

 

 

Lena was getting tired of it frankly. It sucked having feelings for someone who couldn’t reciprocate them. The problem was, multiple guys and girls had asked Lena on dates, or to hook up, and Lena always rejected them. The response always was “I already have someone” But everyday, Lena was realizing more and more that wasn’t the case. She didn’t have Kara, not even the slightest.

 

Each day, Lena also realized that she probably wasn’t the only one Kara was seeing. Knowing Kara, she probably had three people wrapped around her little finger at once. She probably picked and chose who she pleased, whoever was willing to satisfy her needs at the moment. That probably explained why she didn’t want to be affectionate towards Lena at school. Kara didn’t want her other flings figuring out she was also hooking up with someone else.

 

The more and more Lena thought about it, she came to realize that enough was enough. It was clear that Kara wasn’t going to change any time soon and get the balls to commit to her, to confess any feelings at all. Lena realized she had to move on.

 

As Lena looked up to glance around the class, she couldn’t help but notice an extremely sweet looking girl with brown eyes staring at her with a bashful smile on her face.

 

 _I think her name is Sam._ Lena thought as she took in the girl’s features. She definitely found her attractive. She was not as fit as Kara, but she’s also sexy and had pretty long wavy brown locks. From what she had heard around school, this girl Sam could sing maybe not as good as Kara, but this was always a turn on for Lena. 

 

The bell rang signaling the end of the period and Lena quickly collected her things before getting up and making her way over Sam.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Kara's POV. When realization hits her.

Kara made her way to class alone, which was something that rarely happened. Kara was usually the type to always surround herself with people. She hated being alone and she also happened to like attention. She’s friends with some other famous kids like James Olsen who’s the school captain of the basketball team and also member of the student council. She’s sisters with Alex Danvers, the president of the student board, the role model of almost everyone in school. But Kara shrugged all of this, despite being surrounded with these people, there’s something missing in her life.

 

Most of the time now, Kara was just hoping to rush from class to class without being spotted by many people. The thing was, Kara really liked having flings and random hook ups, and it didn’t matter to her the number of people she was involved with at a time. Alex used to lecture her about this, but Kara doesn’t listen to her sister. Clark her cousin used to tell her that it will bring no good to her- fooling around, but it was too late and it’s already in her system. She never did listen to anyone. She usually hangs out and have casual sex with multiple people at the school at once. She had her ways though so that none of them knew about each other. She was skilled. She had experience.

 

Recently, Kara had just been overwhelmed by it all. She hated keeping up with so many people, especially when they started to get needy.

 

Kara was just a horny teenager that asked for sex when she wanted it. That was it. She didn’t stick around for feelings or quality time or any of that shit. She just wanted to feel good for a little while. She hated when the people she was with wanted to take things a step further. That’s when she bolted.

 

Lately, Kara felt different. So different that she had to sort of cut off contact with pretty much all of her current flings. She stopped texting back. She stopped pulling them into random closets at school to make out. She basically stopped being social most of the time. She just sort of sat at home, trying to figure out how to get out of the funk she was in.

 

Kara’s gut had told her that sex was the answer. Kara figured that maybe all she needed was some senseless and rough sex to clear her mind and get her back into the swing of things. When that didn’t work. Kara felt lost. She felt empty.

 

So instead, Kara considered maybe sex was causing the problem. As a result, she decided to cut off contact with everyone. High school was almost over. Maybe she should take a break for a short time and wait to graduate, and then pick up again during university. She figured that would the best solution to turn her life back around.

 

The problem was really, there was one person that Kara couldn’t let go of for some reason: Lena. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but something about Lena made her want to stay in contact. She just wanted to keep seeing this girl. Sometimes she thinks Lena did some voodoo shit on her, because she can’t stop thinking about her.

 

Sure, Kara didn’t give Lena as much attention as she used to, but Lena was still the only person Kara had bothered to let stick around. She bet Lena felt like shit because of the horrible treatment she’s giving her, but she should really be honored. She was the only person Kara wanted to keep in contact with.

 

Kara had actually never felt bad about playing hard to get until she met Lena. She thinks it was probably what she saw in Lena’s eyes. Every time she got up and leave after they finished, she saw the pleading look in those amazing emerald eyes. She knew Lena wanted her to stay. She was just grateful that Lena never expressed that in words, because that meant Kara would be out the door never to come back; Kara didn’t want to have to do that to Lena.

 

Kara still went to Lena for her needs. It definitely wasn’t as frequently as it used to be though. Ever since she had kissed Lena in the locker room, she knew Lena would be her favorite. She always viewed everyone else as something on the side. She always had devoted majority of her time to Lena. Even though Lena wasn’t aware of that, that still rang true to this day.

 

She felt bad though, because no she wasn’t even ignoring Lena as an act. First, it had been to keep the suspense and keep Lena on her toes. She loved kissing Lena one moment, and then passing by her in the hallway later like she meant nothing to her. The look on Lena’s face every time was priceless. She also loved the fact that no matter how many times she did it; Lena would never leave her. Lena was ignorant and loyal, and Kara loved that about her.

 

Now, Kara would hook up with Lena just to break out of her reclusive shell. Sometimes she would ignore Lena for five days and then just randomly show up at the brunette’s mansion. Sure, Lena would be hesitant to comply at first, but she never said no to Kara.

 

Sometimes, Kara would stay with Lena after. She didn’t know why she did, and she didn’t think about it, it just happened sometimes. Sometimes she would want to cuddle with Lena after they had sex. There was something that pulled at her heart watching Lena catch her breath as she ran her fingers through Lena’s hair to calm her down. Something just felt right about having Lena lie down on top of her as they talked or watched movie.

 

Sometimes when Kara would drive home smiling about her time with Lena, she just had to keep repeating, it’s just sex. It’s just sex, in her head so that she wouldn’t accidentally develop something for the beautiful brunette. She knew it was nearly impossible to have sex with someone for so long without developing some sort of feelings. She liked to tell herself that she hadn’t developed feelings for Lena, but sometimes she doubted herself. Maybe it was the fact that Lena sometimes showed up in her dreams, quite a lot.

 

Kara had finally made her way into her seat in class, and thankfully she had only had to dodge away from two of the people she had just decided to ignore. She pulled out her notebook and started doodling as her teacher started writing some stuff on the board. Her thoughts settled to a certain brunette, yes that’s a place she wants to think about right about this moment.

 

***

 

For some reason, Kara actually got nervous every time she was going to talk to Lena now. There’s like pricking sensation all over her body and she just can’t help herself get appalled and addicted to the feeling at the same time. It was probably because she actually felt terrible for the spans of time she would go ignoring the girl.

  
She had decided she would pull Lena into a supply closet or something during the passing period, because she just needed some stress relief. She had just failed biology test and she just needed to feel lips pressed on her own.

 

Lena was standing at her locker with her phone in her hand. She was grinning down at the screen like an idiot. Kara really liked that smile. It brightened up her day. She just hated admitting sappy stuff like that.

 

She sauntered over to Lena and closed the girl’s locker. Lena looked up at her with indifference in her eyes, and Kara was upset that surprise wasn’t written on her features. That was usually the most prominent thing on Lena’s face when Kara approach her during school.

 

“Lena, come on let’s make out” Kara said whilst grabbing Lena’s wrist. Lena instantly yanked her hand away while looking flustered. Lena never did this.

 

“What’s wrong” Kara questioned while rubbing her hand up and down Lena’s arm. Lena stiffened under the blonde’s touch, something else that never happened unless was right before an orgasm.

 

“uh…nothing” Lena trailed off and looked at the ground. Kara hated the fact that she couldn’t look into Lena’s eyes. She liked Lena’s eyes.

 

“Babe…seriously what’s up?” Kara asked but almost a whisper.

 

“Maybe I don’t’ want to make out right now…”  


“Very funny Lena…good one, come on let’s go” Kara took a step back and motioned for Lena to follow. Lena was still rooted to her spot.

 

“No, I’m actually serious” Lena said while finally glancing at the blonde. They made brief eye contact and then once again Lena eyes were glued to the ground.

 

“Can you please give me a legitimate reason? this better be good…” Kara growled the last part, slightly turning Lena on, but also intimidating the girl as well.

 

“Ehmm…Oh yeah…I’m on my period right now!” Lena looked relieved which struck Kara as odd. She was confused as to why Lena is acting like this right now.

 

“Lena, I said make out, not fuck. Now come on, passing period is almost over” with that, Kara grabbed Lena’s wrist and quickly maneuvered her through the hallway whilst trying to make sure as little people as possible saw them.

 

Lena just sort of let Kara drag her along in defeat. No matter how hard she tried, she knew that Kara wouldn’t give up. She should just straight up tell Kara that she didn’t want to hook up with her anymore, but she was scared of what the blonde would do. She knew that Kara could have bad temper at times.

 

Eventually the two girls, reached a janitor’s closet, and Kara yanked the door open and flung Lena inside. Lena stumbled momentarily, but didn’t for long because she knew it, Kara had slammed the door shut, and grabbed Lena in a frantic kiss. Lena kissed back hesitantly and Kara moved her hips against Lena because she didn’t need any of this reluctant stuff from Lena. They didn’t have a lot of time and she wanted Lena to be just as into this as she was. Plus she knew that Lena was a sucker for humping.

 

Lena’s head instantly lolled back and Kara took no time in attaching her lips to the column on Lena’s neck. Kara sucked all the way down Lena’s neck. Lena had quickened thrusting of her hips, and Kara was about to clamp down on Lena’s collarbone, the bell rang and Lena instantly yanked herself from Kara and sprinted out the door, leaving Kara alone and confused.

 

***

 

Kara didn’t know why exactly, but the way Lena had acted that day at school had really gotten to her. When she had arrived home, she closed the door and turned around and punched it. Maybe not too hard, since she didn’t want to break anything.

 

After that, Kara had trudged up to her room and thrown herself on her bed. She grabbed a pillow and screamed into it to muffle the noise. She had to admit it before it ate her alive.

 

_I have feelings for Lena._

The fact that the sentence had slipped out into her thoughts scared the shit out of her. It was out in the open now. She couldn’t turn back on it. She just really, really wanted to ditch Lena in this moment because se knew it would solve everything before she realized just how severe those feelings were.

 

But then again, there was something about Lena that made her stay. Maybe it was her laugh. Maybe it was her smile. Maybe it was the way she could do wonders with her tongue. Maybe it was the way that she actually cared for Kara. A lot of people cared for Kara, but Kara didn’t allow herself to absorb all of those things.  Then maybe it was the way Lena would help Kara with her homework or cook her dinner every time Kara came over. Maybe it was the fact that Lena loved to cuddle. Maybe it was just Lena’s personality as a whole. It also helps how Lena looks perfect every single fucking time, how her face can look so hot and soft at the same time.  Whatever it was, Kara couldn’t stay away. She knew she couldn’t. She’s fucked.

 

When Kara came to that conclusion, she knew she had to have Lena. She didn’t want Lena getting any other ideas. Sure, she had never done the dating thing, but how hard could it be? She made up her mind that she would ignore Lena all day at school tomorrow and then show up at her house that night and ask her out. It would be perfect, she thought.

 

Kara felt calmer now, now that she had admitted her feelings and realized what she had to do to make Lena hers. She didn’t even feel nervous at all for tomorrow, because she knew Lena. Lena never said no.

 

***

 

Just like Kara had planned, she had ignored Lena all day at school. She had even gone out of her way to pass by Lena as many times as possible in the hallways. Every time she glanced at Lena, she saw her looking in dismay at the ground. Kara would grin to herself because she knew what was in store for Lena that night. She’s going to ask her out on a date this time, and she feels giddy about it.

 

After school, Kara gave Lena an hour and then drove over to the girl’s house. She grinned when no cars were in the driveway except Lena’s. They would be alone.

 

Kara rang Lena’s doorbell and then rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t giddy with excitement. This was something new to Kara and something thrilling, and it seemed like the possibilities would be endless now that Lena was going to be hers. The promise of PDA in the halls, actually seemed appealing to Kara now that Lena was the only one she was focusing on lately. She wanted to have Lena, and let the whole world know about it.

 

Lena swung the door open, excitement on her face like she was expecting someone. Her smile faltered slightly when she saw Kara, but nonetheless she opened the door wider and stepped aside.

 

“Oh…Kara it’s you…Hi come in…Did you need something?”

 

Now, Kara was starting to feel slightly nervous because she had no clue whatsoever on how to break the news, or ask someone out. She had never done it before. She figured it had to be slightly more romantic than, _“wanna fuck?”_

 

Kara stood there paralyzed and Lena just stood there waiting for Kara to do something. Kara just stared at Lena adoringly, she never gets enough how Lena look so pretty right this very moment. Lena couldn’t help but note that usually by now, Kara had all of Lena’s clothes off and was taking her on some piece of furniture in the house.

 

Kara panicked and did the only thing she knew how to do. She grabbed Lena by the shoulders and smashed their lips together. Lena placed her hands on Kara’s cheeks hesitantly and kissed back slightly.

 

Kara didn’t waste any time in finding the hem of Lena’s shirt and ripping it over her head. If the moment hadn’t been so heated she might have noticed that Lena was currently dressed rather nicely.

 

When their lips reconnected, Kara shoved her tongue into Lena’s mouth without warning, catching Lena off guard. She simply grunted in response, letting Kara take complete control. Kara walked them back slowly and pushed Lena down onto the couch, but didn’t follow suit. Instead, she ripped her shirt and pants off quickly before gazing back down at Lena.

 

“Kar…Kara” Kara had interpreted that as a desperate moan from Lena, but Lena had actually been trying to get Kara’s attention to tell her something. Kara just ignored it and fell down to her knees beside the couch and walked her fingers down to the button of Lena’s black skinny jeans. She popped the button and pulled the zip down. Lena lifted her hips so Kara could take her jeans off, but Kara simply pushed Lena’s hips down.

 

Kara gazed with adoration at Lena, who squirmed underneath Kara’s touch. Kara seemed to be lost in thought. The longer Kara took, the more Lena considered telling Kara what she had to say instead of just shutting up and getting laid.

 

Just when Lena was about to open her mouth, Kara placed a light kiss above the top of Lena’s jeans, and the simple action had made Lena moaning loudly. Kara smirked before she placed a single finger on Kara’s are through the jeans, moving it up and down slowly.

 

Lena hissed at the tension building in her pants before she quickly reachd down and stripped herself of her jeans before Kara had any time to react.

 

“Well, someone’s a little horny” Kara said smoothly before getting up off her knees and flipping Lena over so that she was lying on her stomach. Kara swiftly unclipped Lena’s bra and left it pinned between Lena’s breasts and the couch. She kissed slowly down Lena’s neck and spine, nipping at the skin softly. Lena was madly turned on and began to rock her hips against her sofa in order to relieve the tension.

 

Kara reached Lena’s thong and grasped the back in between her teeth before pulling it slowly down Lena’s legs. When she reached the bottom, she removed the thong and kissed the bottoms of Lena’s feet before flipping the girl over once again and staring at Lena with a hungry look in her eyes.

 

Kara quickly straddled Lena’s hips and ripped Lena’s bra off. Lena grasped at Kara’s ass, snapping the fabric of Kara’s underwear against her skin multiple times. Eventually Kara raised her bum in the air slightly and Lena managed to find a way to get the underwear off Kara.

 

Kara moved her hands so they were massaging Lena’s breasts lightly and bent down to whisper in Lena’s ear.

 

As Kara bent down, she realized all the possibilities of things she could say. She should just ask Lena to be her girlfriend now, it was very passionate and a heated moment. Then Kara realized that it didn’t matter at the moment. Lena would say yes now and she would say yes in twenty minutes. Lena always ended up saying yes to Kara. Kara decided she could have some fun first.

 

“Mmm… Lena…You’re just so fuckable right now…I want to put my fingers in you so bad.” Kara knew that Lena loved dirty talk, and the second words left Kara’s lips, Lena was a moaning mess.

 

Before Kara had time to take control of the situation, Lena’s hand found Kara’s waist and she had thrusted her area right up against Kara’s. Both girls moaned at the contact.

 

The girls had only gotten in three more lustful thrusts when the doorbell rang.

 

“FUCK!” Lena shouted before jumping up quickly, making Kara tumble to the ground.

 

“What’s wrong? Just leave it be, it can’t be anything too important” Kara tired to calm Lena down, but the girl was already throwing on her clothes in a hurry.

 

“Shut up! Just shut up and put all of your clothes back on, and fix your hair!”  


“Wait why?”

 

“Just do what I say alright?!”  Lena was getting very frantic and was fixing her lipstick in the mirror in the bathroom. Kara was too dazed to say no and she didn’t want to get caught on Lena’s floor, so she got up and dressed quickly. She flattened out her hair and checked her own make up, which miraculously hadn’t smeared too much.

 

Lena came up beside Kara, and Kara was going to lean in to peck Lena on the cheek but Lena walked briskly forward and ripped the door open.

 

“Hey…Sorry for the long wait, we were upstairs” Lena said to the mysterious person outside on the porch beyond Kara’s vision. Lena was talking in a sickeningly sweet voice, and Kara noticed how many time Lena had swept her hair as she spoke.

 

“We? Who are you with?” It was another female’s voice, and Kara couldn’t help but wonder who was out there at the moment.

 

“Oh…Kara…Kara Danvers?” Lena said rather awkwardly.

 

“Kara Danvers? I didn’t know you’re friends with her.” The voice responded. Kara smirked to herself. If only this girl knew what they were doing. _Friends my ass._

 

“Oh we’re not really…I mean she was just dropping something off, yeah just dropping off for project for school.” Lena had lied through her teeth and it had been sort of noticeable.

 

“Well where is she?” Kara heard the girl’s question and made her way over to Lena standing rather close to Lena’s side.

 

It was Samantha Arias. Kara had seen her around. She’s like the vocalist of one of the school bands. Kara’s a singer too, but she doesn’t do it to show off. She knew a lot of people fancied this Samantha as well. She was the typical school sweetheart and heartthrob. She has a tattoo on her arm probably to prove that she’s one of the cool kids.

 

“Hey Kara” Sam said with a quizzical hint to her voice. Kara just smiled and nodded back as a greeting.

  
“So are you guys done with the project? You ready for our date?”

 

_DATTTEEE!!!?_

 

Kara’s thoughts were suddenly in a whirlwind as her head whipped from Lena to Sam and back again. She stared at Lena and waited for the girl to meet her gaze, but Lena just kept staring adoringly up at Sam. She walked over to her, she offered her-her arm, which she accepted without hesitation.

 

“Yeah actually were just finishing things up before you came” Lena said, while looking at Kara. Her eyes were unreadable, no show of emotion whatsoever.

 

Lena motioned with her hand for Kara to follow them out of the house, but Kara stayed rooted to the spot. Her head hurt, but not as much as her heart did. She had never felt ache like this before, not even when she thinks how alone she is. If Kara felt empty before, she definitely felt something now, and she’d rather feel nothing than feel this.  Now, she couldn’t make anything out of the information that was just thrown at her.

 

“Kara come on. Sam and I are leaving” Lena said forcefully this time, with some hint of irritation. Kara was snapped from her thoughts and she quickly shouldered past Sam and Lena to her car without saying goodbye. She sped off to her house, and when she got home, she instantly sprinted up to her room. She flopped down face first onto her bed and sobbed as her world crumbled down around her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's quite a short chapter, but the next one we'll see. Leave some comments on what you think about the chapter. Also thank you for reading. What will happen next? ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Kara. But she really better get her shit together.

Lena sat on her king sized bed, staring at the wall. Tonight had been alright, she guessed. Sam was quite decent and polite and she was super nice. A slight smile played along Lena’s lips as she remembered listening to Sam singing to her softly as they made their way out to dinner.

 

The problem was, Lena hated when first dates were at restaurants. It was just awkward. Half of the time, someone would ask question and the other person wouldn’t be able to respond instantly because they had food in their mouth. Instead, Lena had just nodded her head most of the time and motioned for Sam to wait for her to finish chewing every time she asked her question.

 

The only advantage Lena found in dates at restaurants was that awkward silences could be filled by pretending to still be chewing. Lena had don’t that on multiple occasions earlier on the date. It wasn’t like her and Sam didn’t have anything to talk about, it just seemed like Sam was timid and Lena’s mind had been elsewhere during some portions of the date.

 

Lena knew she should just move on, and Sam was the perfect opportunity to do so. But instead, Lena had found herself thinking about Kara a few too many times on the date. The image of Kara’s face when she had heard Sam say date would probably be the highlight of her day and will be engraved in her memory for a very long time.  

 

The second the word date had left Sam’s mouth, she remembered seeing Kara’s eyes widen an insane amount. Next, the color instantly drained from Kara’s face. Then, Kara’s eyebrows knit together and she averted her gaze to the floor. Lena didn’t understand why Kara had reacted like that though. She was simply using Lena for sex anyway just like she probably was three other people at the moment, Lena thought.

 

Another dilemma that night arose from the fact that Lena and Kara hadn’t finished exactly what they were doing when Sam showed up. Lena hadn’t had time to properly fix herself, so she was sitting in wet panties the whole night, which was just a constant reminder of Kara’s lips and just how amazing Kara was at making her feel good.

 

When Sam and Lena had gotten into the car, she had instantly moved in to kiss her. She had done it for two reasons. One: Sam would not stop rambling about something Lena had absolutely no interest in. She probably had talked about It for so long because instead of changing the topic, Lena had just continued to nod in agreement.

 

Two: Lena was still riled up from her earlier antics with Kara. Lena just wanted a form of relief, and Sam was sexy and wanted to be with her, so she figured she’d give it a shot. She was also hoping that the kiss would be so amazing that she would be able to get over Kara right then and there.

 

Unfortunately for Lena, Sam was not as good of a kisser as Kara. She didn’t really know where to put her hands and she didn’t really put any variation into the kiss. Lena kept forcing herself onto Sam in hope she would suddenly become a miraculously great kisser.

Lena had probably taken things too far when she tried to climb over the center console and onto Sam’s lap, because Sam pulled away while laughing nervously before saying something about how this was only their first date.

 

Lena really shouldn’t have, but she compared Sam even more to Kara in that very moment. All she could think was, Kara wouldn’t have had any objections to taking things so far so quickly.

 

Sitting there on her bed now, Lena actually realized she had compared a lot of things about Sam to Kara. She had noticed how Sam’s eyes were nice brown in color, but they weren’t as captivating as Kara’s. She noticed how Sam’s laugh was more of a deep rumbling chuckle rather than Kara’s high melodic laugh. She had realized she would rather want to make Kara giggle than make Sam chuckle.

 

The worst part was that Lena actually felt somewhat guilty about the situation. For some strange reason, part of her felt as if she was cheating on Kara. She realized it was insane considering the fact that Kara had never had the balls to commit to her. Something just felt weird kissing someone besides Kara.

 

Before Lena could stop herself, she had snatched up her phone to call Kara. She was hoping that Kara would be up for some meaningless sex. She knew Kara always had a thing for sneaking over at two in the morning. Kara just needed something to take her mind off the dilemma she was currently at, plus her and Kara still hadn’t finished what they had started earlier that day. She knew turning to Kara wasn’t the greatest idea at the moment, but she had always turned to Kara for stress relief. She didn’t know who else to go to.

 

Lena clicked on Kara’s contact and just hoped for the best. Kara rarely said no. Kara only said no to piss of Lena. It was always all part of the act Kara put on.

 

Surprisingly, it went to voicemail. Lena was shocked, because she was sure Kara would have picked up. Had Lena’s date with Sam actually bothered Kara? Lena scoffed to herself because she realized that idea was stupid. Yet at the same time, Lena was slightly hurt. She really liked Kara and it bothered her that she didn’t want to talk.

 

In that moment, what strengthened Lena’s resolve to move on was the fact that the instant Kara had left she thinks Kara had probably just called someone to hook up with. That’s probably why Kara wasn’t picking up right now. Kara probably dwelled on the fact that Lena had another person, because Kara probably had two more than Lena did.

 

Lena decided that it was probably best to continue things down the path that they were headed. She should slowly distance herself from Kara and continue to see Sam. Having made up her mind, Lena got under her covers and drifted off into a restless sleep.

 

 Kara watched as her phone’s light went off, knowing it was Lena who was calling her. No she wasn’t with someone else that moment, she was alone on her bed, and her eyes are still sore from crying. She looks at her watch; it was almost 3 am. Kara can’t remember how long she let tears drizzle down her cheeks. She’s mad at herself, and she hates herself for not feeling any tinge of anger towards Lena, she doesn’t hate Lena. In fact, it was the opposite.

 

***

 

Lena could feel everyone’s eyes on her during the passing period. Alright, everyone’s eyes weren’t focused just on her, it was Sam too. Both Lena and Sam were considered good looking at the school, so they had become this power couple.

 

Everywhere Lena went now, people always seemed to ask things like “You and Sam look good together” and “Are you guys in love?” Lena sort of let the questions bounce right off of her, because to this day she still wasn’t sure exactly how she felt about her girlfriend.

 

It didn’t help that Kara constantly said as many negative things about the girl as possible. Yes, Lena was still hooking up with Kara, but she never let it go too far this time. She and Kara hadn’t had sex since before her first date with Sam.

 

The majority of the insults directed towards Sam came from Kara whenever Lena refused sex. Kara would run her hands through her hair loudly and sigh exasperatedly before something like “She’s not even pretty” before removing herself from Lena and leaving to put as much distance as possible between them.

 

Kara was always the one to bring up Sam because Lena had brought her up once as sort of a joke and noted how Kara’s features instantly fell. It was weird, she had never seen Kara upset in the past, but it was becoming more frequently thing now. If Lena hadn’t been with Sam right now, she probably would have asked the blonde about it.

 

Also, every time Kara stormed off it had a negative effect on Lena. Lena would instantly get angry and things like, _why is it such a big fucking deal to Kara? It’s just hooking up, that’s all it’s ever been anyway!_

As Sam leaned up against the locker, Lena was snapped back into the present. She smiled lightly at her girlfriend. Sam leaned in to kiss her cheeks and she actually smells nice today. Sam is actually wearing a cute dainty blue shirt tucked in her jeans skinny jeans, she looks pretty today. But the blue shirt, just reminded her of Kara’s blue eyes. _Don’t go there Lena._

 

“Um, you look nice today”

 

“I always do babe, also Me and Danvers have to attend this interschool pop quiz”

 

Lena’s eyes widened at the thought of Sam hanging out with Kara.

 

“Alex Danvers? Your friend’s sister?” Lena was relieved. Of course it was Alex, not Kara.

 

Lena isn’t usually the PDA type, but she randomly leaned up and pressed her lips to Sam.

 

“Good luck kiss”

 

As Lena pulled away, she definitely saw the blonde hair flash by, and knowing it was Kara, her eyes immediately flashed to the girly hurrying her way down the hallway. Lena couldn’t help but keep her eyes fixated on the blonde girl as she made her way to...the old decrepit bathroom?

 

“Lena?” Sam waved her hand in front of Lena’s face. Lena jumped slightly because she thought she was just caught checking Kara out.

 

“Everything alright?” Sam had a kind smile on her face, and she leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead.

 

Lena smiled shyly and couldn’t help _‘why can’t I just love her?’_ flash across her mind momentarily. She really didn’t know why she was so reluctant to give her heart to this girl. It just seemed like she’d be missing out on something if she gave herself completely to her.

 

“Yeah…I’m fine…I still feel a little hangover…I’m just gonna head over to the bathroom really quick. You don’t have to wait for me…and goodluck.”

 

“You want me to take you the nurse?” Sam looks concerned, and Lena was so thankful she was so caring.

 

_Kara would never care about you that much. You’re just a hook up to her._

 

Lena honestly hated the fact that whenever Sam did anything, she was subconsciously comparing her to Kara. The thoughts just never stopped. She would try to push them down, but they always had a way of coming back up. She hated it, and it was aggravating.

 

“I’ll be fine, you’d be late…I’ll be fine, I promise.”

 

“Alright, if you need anything, just text me” Sam said before pecking her on the cheek and grabbing her hand, starting to lead her in the direction of the main bathrooms.

 

_Another thing you’ve never been able to do with Kara, walked l with her and hold her hand._

Lena sighed out angrily for two reasons. One: She wanted the thoughts to go away. Two: she didn’t want to go to the main bathroom.

 

She shouldn’t be angry at Sam for not knowing that, it’s just that sometimes the anger she felt towards herself got taken out on Sam. She was actually great for sticking around through it all.

 

_Kara rarely sticks around._

Lena had enough. The voice in the back of her head was extremely persistent today and she really didn’t want to take it out on Sam. She stopped right in the middle of the hallway, grabbing her stomach in mock pain.

 

“Shit, I can’t make it to the main ones, I gotta bolt” Lena said quickly before ripping her hand from Sam’s and sprinting to the old bathroom. Sam just stood there watching her girlfriend awkwardly before shrugging and wandering off to her thing.

 

Lena barreled into the bathroom and then checked behind her. Thankfully Sam hadn’t tried to follow her. She caught her her breath quickly and when she turned around to look around the bathroom, she saw Kara.

 

Kara wasn’t alone though. She was with a girl that Lena had never bothered to learn the name of. Lena had never had a class with the mystery girl, so the girl’s name had never come up.

 

Both girls glanced at Lena as she made her way in, and Kara looked at Lena indifferently before averting her gaze back to the girl.

 

“Just don’t take it personally alright?” after the girl heard Kara’s words, she rolled her eyes, murmured a “whatever” and pushed past Lena to leave Kara and Lena alone.

 

“What was that?” Lena was honestly curious. She realized she hadn’t really seen Kara talking to people at school anymore, which was weird. Kara used to be social. Kara has always been around with her cool clique. Plus, the conversation hadn’t seemed like a pleasant one.

 

“Nothing.” Kara murmured before grabbing Lena’s shoulders and smashing their lips together. Lena usually was a little hesitant when Kara kissed her now, but today she liked it. It probably had something to do with the fact that it was even more spontaneous than usual. Sometimes Lena really missed the old days sneaking around and passionate, hungry kisses with Kara.

 

Lena walked backwards and climbed on top of the sink, the two girls’ lips never disconnecting. Kara had followed Lena and was now standing in between Lena’s legs. Lena wrapped her legs around Kara’s waist to bring her even closer. This has always been their favorite position. Lena thinks how they fit perfectly.

 

Both girls didn’t really know how or why it happened, but soon the hungry kissed had morphed into a slow and steady rhythm. Their tongues were lazily pushing against each other’s and Kara’s arms were soon wrapped around Lena’s neck, fingers threading through the girl’s hair.

 

“I missed you” Kara slipped in between kisses.

 

Those words encouraged Lena to kiss her more. Kara didn’t feel like being harsh and leaving marks this time around, so she just opted for gentle sucking and kissing Lena’s neck. Eventually, Kara kissed her way back to Lena’s Lips.

 

Things with Kara never went this well, Lena thought.

 

_This isn’t going to last,_ Lena thought as Kara sucked lightly as Lena’s bottom lip, earning a low moan from the girl.

 

“Does Sam kiss you like this?” Kara mumbled against Lena’s lips. And there was it. The attack on Sam. The ruining of a perfect moment. Lena instantly pulled herself away and shoved Kara harshly. Lena jumped down from the sink and screamed angrily while shooting Kara an extremely angry look.

 

“What? What did I say…why are you being like this Luthor?”  Lena hated being called by her last name, especially someone she was trying to be intimate with. It just made it seem like there was a business contract being signed or something stupid like that.

 

“Fuck off Kara!” Lena yelled angrily before storming out of the bathroom, leaving Kara confused as to how the mood could’ve possible shifted so quickly in such a short span of time, and hurt because she had never wanted Lena to hate her.

 

***

 

Sometimes when Kara finds her mind to cluttered with thoughts, she goes for a drive. She didn’t know why she was thinking about it, but about two and a half months from now, the school would be having a formal dance. She was trying to sort all her thoughts about it as she drove down some roads in the secluded part of town.

 

Kara realized she had never been asked to one of those dances. It was probably because everyone knew about her reputation. They probably think since she doesn’t do relationship, _why bother ask her?_

 

Kara wouldn’t have put it past her old self, but she knew she wouldn’t do anything like that now. It just made her feel alone more. She wanted to go with someone this time around.

 

_I want to go with Lena, was repeating in her mind over and over again_ , but she knew that wouldn’t happen. She knew Lena and Sam would last until the dance. She always saw them loved up in the hallway and always saw pictures of them on social media. Lena always stuck around Sam. They’re inseparable at school. Kara seemed to be the only person at the school that didn’t think those two’s relationship was adorable. Or maybe it was just her jealous self talking.

 

Now, as time had passed, she was sure Sam and Lena had done the sex thing, but what upsets her was that to them, it had probably been considered that stupid ‘making love’ shit. Those words always grossed Kara out. But it killed her to think that she had never been able to that with Lena. It had always just been sex. It hurts to know that now, Sam had done things with Lena that she hadn’t had the chance to do. It hurts so much sometimes that Kara found that the thought of it brought tears to her eyes.

 

Kara sort of hated herself because this drive had seemed to mess up her head more than clear it up. She could feel the occasional tear slip out of her eye as well, but she hated brushing them away, because that was basically admitting that she was weak.

 

What Kara could never wrap her head around was the fact that Lena had obviously had feelings for Kara. She saw it in Lena’s eyes a lot of times, especially if Kara had the balls to stick around after they have sex. The way Lena would hold onto her definitely hinted that the brunette was harboring some feelings for her.

 

_How could Lena have just dropped those feelings?_ She made it seem so easy. Kara had often considered doing the same thing, finding someone else and sticking to them to help her get rid of her dependence on Lena. She knew her and Lena were actually very similar people. If Lena could do it, she probably could too.

 

At this point, Kara hadn’t even really paid attention to which roads she was taking, or the fact she had bought a box of chocolates placed on the front seat beside her. She was going down the residential street when she started to slow down as she approached a familiar house. Of course it was Lena’s house.

 

And of course, Sam’s car was parked in the driveway. It took Kara a couple of seconds to realize that Lena and Sam weren’t inside, they were leaning up against the side of Sam’s car.

 

Kara was lucky her car was black and relatively quiet, because she had gone undetected so far. She wanted to see what was going on. She knew it was creepy and kind of stalkerish, but sometimes she hoped that maybe she would see them break up or get into a fight and then she could come swoop in and save the day, making Lena fall in love with her.

 

As she pulled over to the side of the street, opposite of Lena’s house, her mouth dropped open slightly. Lena looked absolutely stunning.

 

Sexy, Kara thought to herself, I meant that she looks sexy. _She looks hot, yeah that’s it. Don’t go getting even more attached. Says someone who bought a fucking box of chocolates._  

 

Lena was in a thigh length, tight dark red dress. She had black high heels on and a leather jacket on over the dress. Her hair was flowing down her back in gentle waves, and Kara just noticed now that it seemed as if Lena had cut about three inches or so off of her hair. She couldn’t see Lena’s face, but she bet it looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful.

 

She wanted to just punch the steering wheel right now because Sam was probably taking it all for granted. She was so lucky that Lena was hers and that she had such a beautiful girl in her life. She probably didn’t even realize Lena’s true beauty. It made Kara’s eyes water thinking that Lena looked so good right now and she couldn’t even touch her.

 

Sam was dressed like her typical formal wear when it came to fancy occasions. She was wearing a tight black dress, that almost complimented Lena’s jacket. As Kara was surveying Sam’s choice of clothes, Lena had grabbed Sam’s neck and was and was pulling her closer, Kara had to avert her gaze, holding back yet another set of tears-as she knew the two were going to kiss.

 

***

 

Lena pulled away from Sam after sharing a gentle kiss. Sam was leaning back on her car and Lena was standing in front of her. The night had actually been really nice. She just hated the fact that she could never fully enjoy her time with Sam because of the thoughts she always had about Kara.

 

She thought that after a night that went as well as it did, the thoughts about Kara would vanish, but as Sam rested her hands on Lena’s hips, she couldn’t help but think, _Kara just seem to fit there a little more nicely._

Lena shook her head lightly, trying not to let the thoughts ruin this really romantic moment. Sam rested her forehead on hers. Her brown eyes were staring into hers lovingly.

 

“I love you Lena.” Sam said rather cautiously. Lena was taken aback. She did not expect that to happen at all. She never thought about Sam saying it because it had never eve occurred to Lena that she might love Sam. She knew she wouldn’t be able to until her thoughts about Kara ceased.

 

 

In that moment, she really hated Kara. She hated Kara for coming into her life, and never leaving. She hated Kara for always leading her on and playing hard to get. She hated Kara for not staying when Lena had made it so obvious she wanted the girl so much. And most importantly she hated Kara for occupying her every thought, and this specific moment with her girlfriend.

 

Sam’s eyes were sparkling in the moonlight as she waited for a response. Lena sudden anger was about to fuel what she was going to say. She knew she didn’t mean what she was going to say but she didn’t want Sam to leave her. She knew if she left, she would back to the miserable cycle that Kara kept up.

 

“I feel the same way” Lena said, plastering a fake smile on her face. She hated herself for lying to Sam and not being able to respond with the same words. She didn’t love sam now, but she hoped that maybe over time she would learn how to.

 

Sam beamed down at her and brought her into a bone crushing hug. Lena hugged back and chuckled nervously.

 

“God I’m so glad you do Lena. You have no idea how happy you’ve made me: With those words, she pressed her lips on her. She really didn’t want to make out with this girl right now, but she knew pulling away would ruin the moment and make things suspicious.

 

She and Sam continued to kiss, and the second she ran her hands against the back of Sam’s head, she heard a car speed away quickly. The noise was sudden and pulled their attention away from each other momentarily. Lena could just barely make out a black car speeding down her street, blowing the stop sign at the corner and continuing to hurtle through the neighborhood.

 

Lena thought this was the perfect distraction to get out of Sam’s arms. She silently thanked whoever ad caused the distraction even though their driving was extremely unsafe.

 

“Alright well, I gotta go. My mother just arrived from a business meeting, she’s quite excited to see me…I’ll see you tomorrow?”

 

Sam just smiled down fondly at Lena and kissed her cheek. Lena turned and made her way back inside her house, totally forgetting to say she loved Sam back. Hopefully she hadn’t noticed.

 

She was just so preoccupied with her thoughts. She was already regretting what she had said. She felt so overwhelmed, like she was too deep in a situation she still hadn’t even fully comprehend the meaning of. She couldn’t believe this distraction from Kara had ended up like this. She wasn’t even sure how to feel at this point. Lena just felt emotionally numb and exhausted at the same time.

 

She didn’t even bother to change in pajamas before flopping down onto her bed.

 

That night, she wouldn’t dream about the girl who had just told her she loved her. Instead, she was haunted by a shimmering blonde hair and ocean blue eyes.

 

***

 

Alex arrived from an awfully long day, she saw Kara sleeping on the couch, with a bottle of beer on her hand and a box of chocolates carelessly splattered on her stomach. The giant TV was still on. She’s fond of Kara being so messy and all but she never saw her sister like this. Come to think about it, she hadn’t seen her quite often recently. She knows something is up, what she didn’t know was Kara was broken, and there’s no other way to save her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think. Tune in :)


	4. For Lena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An Art Piece

Kara knew it would be rough walking into school after seeing Sam and Lena together last Friday night. When Kara had been watching from her car, she could swear she saw something shift between the couple. It was the way Sam and Lena had kissed and the way she had held Lena. She could just tell.

 

As she pushed her way through the front doors, she just hoped that she wouldn’t see the couple on her way to class. Kara was one of those people that stuck to the shadows and the corner of the building now. She just didn’t really want to talk to anyone, except for Lena. But now it had become increasingly difficult to even have a minute alone with her.

 

Unfortunately for Kara, it looked like she wouldn’t be able to avoid the power couple. They were standing in a large group of people. Sam had her arm around Lena’s waist, pulling her closely. Everyone in the group was so big that it took up majority of the hallway. This was the only way for Kara to get to her class, so she knew she would have to brush past the group. It pains her, to hear the giggling and all sorts of happiness radiating from them.

 

To make things even worse for her, as she approached the group, Sam used her free hand to grab Lena’s chin and turn her face towards her. She murmured something to her and Kara’s heart broke a little bit more as she watched Lena’s face light up as another giggle made its way out of her mouth.

 

Although Kara had seen it happen numerous times in the past, it killed just a little bit more when Lena stood on the tips of her toes to lock lips with Sam in front of the crowd. Everyone else in the group made gagging noises and told them to get a room and if Kara had been in that group, she probably would have said something even harsher like “JUST BREAK UP ALREADY”

 

Lena and Sam both pulled apart laughing slightly before Sam said “You can’t blame me, if I’m in love with her”

 

Kara was surprised she hadn’t just collapsed to the ground right then and there from all the heartache that rushed onto her at once. _Love? They’re in love?_  Kara’s chances of ever being with Lena just became even slimmer. When she realized that, she had to fight the tears threatening to form in her eyes.

 

Kara realized that she had been rooted to the same spot after hearing those words because people were starting to bump into her. She started to walk past the couple, and before she even had time to stop herself, she murmured “same”, in response to that.

 

Lena had heard the words and whipped her head around, but unfortunately Kara was a fast walker and had been swallowed up by the crowd of students making their way to class. Lena couldn’t help but wonder if whoever had said that had directed it at them. She shook her head, figuring she had probably just been hearing things and leaned back into Sam’s thoughts filling her head.

 

***

 

Kara sat alone during lunch, which was something she had been doing for weeks now. She could see Lena glance over at her sometimes with a look of pity on her face, but it didn’t really mean anything to Kara because Lena never actually came over. She was too busy with Sam to do that. Kara stares at her food for a while, hoping that sadness won’t settle in.

 

Kara actually liked being alone at lunch though, it gave her time to just figure out her thoughts. She tried doing that in class, but she realized it wasn’t good idea because she drifted so far away from the lesson that her grades were starting to drop. She decided to save lunch time for her thoughts.

 

Unfortunately, Kara couldn’t keep herself alone since her sister Alex suddenly sat beside her. Oh great, she’s with her girlfriend Lucy.

 

“Hey lovergirl” Lucy mocked. Kara saw Alex hitting Lucy on her side. Of course Alex knew something’s wrong with her, she could never hide anything from her, at least most of the time.

 

“You alright?” Alex started. Kara just smiled and nodded at her sister but her undivided attention returned to her sandwich. Alex saw the emptiness on Kara’s face, it’s as if her sister is a completely different person. It’s not loneliness though, it could be, but there was surely something else. They sat and ate there quietly. It was just Lucy and Alex talking then about stuff, almost trying to coax Kara to jump in the conversation. Eventually Kara finished her lunch and excused herself. She took a last glance at Lena and Sam who were holding hands while talking from a distance, Kara let her current emotions show this time. She didn’t have any sort of mask up, which was something else that started to happen a lot more frequently.

 

Kara stared listlessly at nothing in particular as she made her way out of the cafeteria and Lena couldn’t help the twinge in her heart from the sight. Sure Kara is hurt, but so is Lena.

 

***

 

Kara had taken up musical writing in her spare time, to take her mind off of things. She had also taken up drawing. She had taken such a keen interest in both when she realized that maybe the solution to her problems wasn’t finding a new person. She needed to find a new way to spend her time.

 

Kara had to watch herself though, because if she let her mind slip, Lena would come rushing into her thoughts. If Kara got distracted when she was drawing, she would end up sketching Lena’s face down on a paper. If she got too lost in the music, she sometimes found herself writing sappy love lyrics on the piano. Sometimes her new hobbies seemed like gifts, and sometimes they seemed like curses.

 

Since the school offered drawing classes and music course to use for Kara, she spent most of her time there. She often left the building when it was already dark outside. She never tried to drown herself in books in the library because of the thought that Lena would be there, Lena loved books. She managed to also change some of her class schedules to avoid any encounter with Lena. She was pretty good at it, to be honest.  When she got home, she would eat dinner, do her homework and then go to sleep. Her new schedule was hectic, but that’s what Kara needed. Any down time and her mind instantly wandered back to Lena. Lena, Lena, Lena.

 

Kara had also gotten good terms with some of the artistic students, so she was always welcome in that wing of the building. Kara still had some of her charm, so it had been easy to win them over. At first Kara had always felt like she was intruding, but now it felt like a second home.

 

Sometimes Kara had the dilemma of how much time to devote to which hobby. Some days became music days and some days became art days. Soon enough, she had even found herself sneaking into the school on Saturdays. Saturdays were days for both.

 

Today was art day, and Kara sat at a table that was up against a window. Bright sunlight was streaming through the window and falling on her paper in a really artistic sort of way. Kara was trying to capture the sunlight on the paper with quick strokes of different colored pencils. She was really pleased of this work of art.

 

It was Friday, so most people had left by now to get ready for plans for the night. Kara on the other hand, really didn’t make plans any more. Sometimes she couldn’t even believe how much she had changed. She liked her recluse lifestyle though. It was peaceful.

 

As Kara quickly drew on the paper, she heard the door open. She didn’t lift her head from the paper, because she needed to capture this before it got dark and went away.

 

Judging by the footsteps, there were two people. Since Kara was far away from the door, she was guessing the people hadn’t seen her yet. The two people were walking rather loud and laughing at something. That’s when Kara heard something.

 

Kara heard the giggle. That familiar raspiness in the giggle that sounded like birds singing. It was so melodic. Kara wished there was a way to somehow translate that noise down onto her piece of paper. It made her heart swell with positive emotions.

 

It was probably the fact that she was so caught up in her artwork that it hadn’t registered. After a short delay, it hit Kara. Her heartbeat skyrocketed and her palms started to sweat, because she swears she knows that voice. The positive emotions were instantly replaced by all negative ones that came crashing down: jealousy, sadness, hopelessness and bitterness.

 

Lena and Sam were stumbling around the art room like fools. They were so sickeningly in love and that just crushed Kara’s heart into million pieces. Sam was twirling Lena around as she picked up some supplies. Kara had never seen Sam in here before, but it looked like she knew her way around.

 

The two still hadn’t noticed Kara yet, and the blonde hoped it would stay that way. Unfortunately for her, it appeared that Sam was making her way over to some of the tables near her, pulling Lena along with her.

 

Before the two noticed Kara, Kara took in the smiles on their faces, Lena’s specifically. She was happy, Kara thought. Despite all the pain Kara’s carrying, seeing Lena smile like that-brought bliss to her heart. It’s the only thing that mattered, she guessed. She just loved that small so damn much. It lit up her entire face. Lena even had this adorable dimple that appeared on one of her cheeks. Kara hated the fact that Lena was smiling because of Sam, but deep down inside she was grateful that Sam made Lena happy.

 

“Babe…come here. I’ll show you where the best table to work is” Sam said, leading Lena right in the direction of Kara’s table. Kara cursed under her breath, already dreading what was about to happen.

 

Sam and Lena still hadn’t noticed Kara because they were looking into each other’s eyes and laughing. It made Kara sick. She couldn’t believe she had missed the opportunity to be the one doing that. She hated herself every day for that.

 

When Sam and Lena were about about four feet away, Sam spoke up again.

 

“Alright here we are, look, the light shines through and—oh Hi Kara.” Sam and Lena had finally glanced up at the table and noticed Kara sitting there working on her art. Kara glanced at Sam and Lena abysmally.

 

“Hey…” Kara said, waving awkwardly and looking back down at her work, not even bothering to try to keep up a conversation. The more she heard Lena’s voice and looked into her dazzling eyes, the more her heart hurt.

 

Lena had obviously never told Sam the truth because she was absolutely oblivious. She tugged Lena to sit down with her across from Kara. Lena hesitantly sat down. Lena looked at Kara intently, but Kara would not look up to meet her eyes. _It’s just too much for Kara to bear okay?_

 

“So, what are you working on? You know it’s Friday night right?” Sam was being too kind. Kara just wanted to be left alone. This place was supposed to be her escape from Lena. But now she wasn’t even safe here.

 

“Capturing the sunlight” Kara murmured, working on her artwork and not granting either of the couple eye contact. “And yeah, I know, I don’t have plans. I never do anymore”.

Kara had murmured the last sentence quietly, trying not to encourage any form of conversation, but Sam and Lena had both heard it. Lena was taken aback at the bitterness in Kara’s voice. But at the same time, she felt terrible because hurt was definitely evident in the blonde’s voice as well.

 

“Interesting…” Sam trailed off, not knowing what else to say. Kara wasn’t giving much to go off of, plus she was being cold, rejecting conversation. Sam glanced over to Lena and squeezed her hand, hinting that she needed help. Lena seemed off in her own thoughts though, so Sam grasped at something to say.

 

A whole minute had ticked by, and no one had said anything, Sam felt awkward, Lena felt terrible and Kara was angry. That was not a good mix.

 

Kara’s anger finally bubbled over because the couple was just sitting there holding hands, rubbing it in her face that Lena wasn’t hers.

 

“Not to sound rude or anything, but why are you here? I mean in this room and at this table? There are plenty of other perfectly fine tables here”

 

Sam stuttered awkwardly and Kara and Lena finally made eye contact. Lena looked at Kara with sorrow and sadness in her eyes, and Kara’s eyes softened just a little.

 

“Actually I only come in here on occasion, you see I was thinking of getting Lena here a gift, I’m getting another tattoo for her”

 

Kara scoffed slightly at Sam’s words before saying “You’re getting a tattoo on your body…as a gift—for her?” she was completely mocking it for the fact that it was an entirely stupid idea.

Kara didn’t even feel sorry at this point with the tone on her voice when she saw hurt flash across Lena’s eyes. Maybe Lena should feel some pain after all the pain she had inflicted upon Kara.

 

“It’s romantic I guess” Lena trailed off, voice cracking slightly at the end. Another silence enveloped them. Kara had gone back to her artwork because she knew if she didn’t she would be apologizing to Lena and giving into those mesmerizing eyes.

 

Sam was the one to break the silence.

 

“Hmmm…Oh yeah…I never asked…how did that project you two worked on turn out?”  


Kara and Lena’s heads both snapped up at the mention of that night, memories flooding back to them that they had both pushed away. The feeling of their lips on each other’s. the moments of passion. The friction of their hips colliding.

 

Kara wanted to be the one to reply so she spoke up quickly.

 

“Actually, it didn’t work out…We sort of failed…No…I did…it was my fault obviously…” there was crack on her voice and Kara was looking at Lena now, Lena didn’t know what Kara meant but it pierced something in her soul. Lena almost felt it, felt Kara’s pain but she didn’t want to assume. Kara could just be talking nonsense.

 

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go. Have fun with your tattoo shit.”

 

With that, Kara stood up abruptly and quickly made her way out of the art room, slamming the door unintentionally. Lena eyes began to water as she picked up on Kara’s subliminal message. She really tried to look at her past with Kara fondly, but it hurt her that Kara wasn’t doing the same.

 

“That Kara is an odd one. Alex never described her sister like that. When did she get so awkward? I thought she was pretty social, a lot of people find her cool” Sam’s words brought Lena out of her thoughts and she shook her head and blinked the tears back.

 

“Yeah…um… she definitely not the Kara I knew” Lena murmured quietly. The whole situation had just gotten awkward. Sam didn’t really know how to handle awkward situation as well. So she shifted uncomfortable in her seat and grabbed her pencil.

 

After that, the couple spent a lot of time thinking up tattoo ideas. Lena was distracted the majority of the time though. She kept replaying what Kara had said and how the blonde really looked completely different. Lena almost didn’t recognize her.

 

Kara’s half finished picture didn’t help Lena focus at all either. It was beautiful, even if it wasn’t completely finished. Lena could just picture Kara entirely engrossed in finishing the work of art, teeth biting at her lower lip while pushing her hair out of her face. A slight smile made it way onto Lena’s lips, as she thought about how pretty Kara could be.

 

Lena honestly felt like such a terrible person, because she was thinking about this while sat next to her girlfriend. Sam had basically given up on trying to involve Lena for the most part, because she could tell her mind was elsewhere. It kind of pissed Lena off that Sam hadn’t spoken up and asked what was wrong. It was like this tattoo mattered more to her than she did.

 

_Would Kara put me first?_

Lena’s eyes wandered back to Kara’s picture and she thought more about the person who had drawn it. She couldn’t believe that after all this time, the feelings for Kara still managed to bubble up so easily and with such great magnitude.

 

Lena just couldn’t take all of the internal conflict anymore. She rose from her chair, gaining a quizzical look from Sam. She picked up Kara’s drawing and threw it into the garbage quickly before returning to Sam.

Lena didn’t know though, that if she had flipped the drawing over, she would have found a half finished portrait of herself on the other side, with a working title.

 

_For Lena._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost cried writing this, because I was too emotional and drunk haha :) enjoy. please show some love and tell me what you think guys ;)
> 
> also any theories? What will happen next? tune in


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That tattoo shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This sort of like a "filler" chapter.

> _"It's a shame, you're to blame 'cause once you owned my heart, I remember feeling so high but I'm right back at the start. I still feel love when I see your face. But all these tears I can't erase. Sorry heart, I'm sorry heart, but we'll have to start again"-_ Towers, Little Mix
> 
>  

Lena can’t remember entirely what happened that night. She’s fond of lodging distinct memories in her mind, but this time she was incapable of doing it. One thing she knew was that she and Veronica was having fun in this modern art exhibit, flooding themselves with some shots and the next thing was that Kara was in attendance volunteering, looking so beautiful in a black dress.

 

She couldn’t help herself but admire the beauty that is Kara, even though it was from an incredible amount of distance just because she wanted to stay away from a guaranteed temptation. Kara was a temptation indeed, she never trusted herself around Kara. Veronica who was almost oblivious at the matter wasn’t really helpful either. Almost every word that came out from Veronica’s mouth was to compliment how Kara was looking so god damn hot that night.

 

Another thing about recollecting moments from that night, is that alcohol made it really vague. Lena and drinking alcohol never had a good history, but they always have a satisfying connection.

 

“Good thing, you didn’t bring Sam tonight, you’ve been out of reach lately” Veronica clinking her glass of whiskey with Lena’s before gulping down the whole thing.

  
“Well, she had a family thing going on”

 

“Right, because 3 o’clock, Kara is looking fine as hell”  
  
Lena can’t help herself but to take a peek of what she was dodging the whole time. She knew Kara was looking fine, she always have. Lena couldn’t take a rest tonight, to take a break from Sam and most importantly to stay away from Kara. It’s not like Kara was still bothering her though, Kara doesn’t keep in touch anymore. Kara rarely maintain eye contact with her in the hallway which made Lena really dreary most of the time. Not seeing Kara’s smile and not seeing Kara at all made her every day somewhat incomplete.

 

_Is Kara avoiding her?_

“You know I have a girlfriend right?”  Lena seemed like she wasn’t at all interested of the fact that she could walk right up there and flirt with Kara.

 

“And you do know I’m single right?” Veronica countered back with an encouraging smug on her face. Shew knew in an instance, a little flirty talk from Veronica can sway Kara back in her thing again. Lena suddenly felt nervous, she didn’t want Veronica to flirt and hook up with her Kara. _Her Kara? Pathetic._

“Well…yeah I mean…I heard she could be easily persuaded” It was Lena’s turn to indulge her self with a whole glass of whiskey, immediately regretting her pep talk to Veronica. Veronica examined her friend, almost narrowing her eyes.  Lena avoided Veronica’s knowing gaze.

 

“Nah…I heard she isn’t like that really.”

 

Lena couldn’t understand what Veronica was implying that moment, of course Kara is exactly like that. She grabs all the opportunity that easily appears before her.

 

“You know Imra right? She literally threw herself to Kara the other day, in the locker room…but I heard Kara rejected her. And told her it wasn’t her thing. Now Imra is all butt hurt and is talking shit about Kara”

 

Lena was wide eyed and was in complete shock of the information. That didn’t sound right, it didn’t sound like Kara at all.

 

“As much as I want to kiss the shit out of her, I don’t want to be rejected” another glass was downed onto Veronica’s throat. Lena’s thoughts were fixated on the idea that Kara have possibly changed, but the plausibility of it ever happening is very slim, she thought.

 

Lena was in constant state of disbelief and relief at the same time though _. Was it possible that Kara have changed? Was it because of her?_ Lena placed the whole absurd idea in the back of her head. _I mean what’s the use_. It doesn’t matter now, she’s with Sam.

 

***

 

Kara had volunteered in this art show at a Bar. It’s not like she wasn’t able to get a pass to go in. but she wanted some of her piece to be part of the exhibit. The moment she stepped inside the activity area, a certain brunette caught her attention. It was Lena.

 

She cursed under her breath, she knew she wouldn’t be focused for the night because Lena was looking gorgeous in that royal blue dress, a dress once she remembered she was able to take off from Lena in an intimate kind of way. Lena always looked gorgeous. Kara had to remind herself that Lena is with Sam now. She doesn’t have a right to touch her.

  
Kara’s life had been really peaceful lately, it had been weeks from the day she saw Lena and Sam at the art room. She had already adapted on the hectic schedule and the stimulating routine she made for herself. Out of all of that, she learned a lot of things and now she’s even at an art show, showcasing some of her works. It’s not big of a deal really, it’s not like people will stop and appreciate her work, but she thinks this is a good start.

 

The night has been tedious really, Kara has managed to focus on her spot while also focusing on Lena, observing her from afar. Because Lena was clearly drunk right now, she knew Lena was drunk because that’s exactly how she looked like when they first met. It bothers Kara how Lena’s friend doesn’t seem to be helpful at all.

 

Kara finally made her way to the mini bar, as the crowd automatically parted for her.

 

“Hi” Kara was trying to be polite this time, catching Veronica’s attention. Veronica tried to fix herself but is also having a hard time, since Veronica and Lena are both drunk. Lena was wasted though, compared to Veronica because Lena was semi lying on the bar’s counter.

 

“Is she okay?” _Definitely not._

Veronica waves her off, gesturing that Lena will be fine. But that isn’t the case at all. Kara couldn’t blame Veronica completely, because Veronica was preoccupied with a man almost smothering her. Kara shook her head in disgust and instantaneously took one of Lena’s arm, and managed to carry her off the stool.

 

“I’m going to take her home”

 

And so she did. Kara took Lena to her home. Not Kara’s home, because that would definitely be the worst idea to ever come across her mind. She again constantly reminded herself, that Lena is with Sam, and it’s not right to take advantage of her in this circumstance.

 

Kara placed Lena carefully on the couch, then covering her gently with Lena’s jacket. She watched the brunette in full adoration, as a smile gradually form on Kara’s lips. _How could she ever let go a girl like Lena?_ She loves Lena so damn much and she craves for her even in her most innocent form. Kara never seize her gaze away from Lena, it took her a couple of minutes before mentally hitting herself, because she probably look so creepy right now.

 

“Miss Danvers…not staying for the night?” Jess almost startled Kara, that’s when she was snapped out of her daze and gave Jess a knowing look. But she shook her head indicating she’s not staying for the night, not like the old days -something only Jess have a knowledge of. Still smile was noticeable on Kara’s face. She recalled she haven’t smiled like this for a while. It was Lena’s effect on her, just by looking at Lena, it brought real joy to Kara’s heart.

 

Kara was about to say something when Lena moved from her position, she almost looked restless Kara thought.

 

“Sa…Sam”

 

Kara heard it clear, sure. Just when she thought her night was already getting better, that’s when she heard that word, that name. It hauled the deepest cut in Kara’s heart. It’s as if new wounds have been inflicted into Kara’s heart.  Kara was even surprised she hadn’t just broken down in that very moment from all the torment that crashed into her world all at once. She swallowed all her emotions hard in an instant, wanting to keep her composure in front of Jess.

 

“I…I guess that’s my cue…I have to go, make sure she’s comfortable Jess” She then abruptly took her own coat, waved at Jess dreadfully, and hurriedly made her way out before even a single tear could drop, and ruin her strong act. _Not tonight Kara, not tonight._

 

Kara should’ve stayed a little bit longer though, because as soon as Kara have walked out. Lena was mumbling yet another incoherent phrase. But this time it would’ve made Kara stay.

 

“Sam…I’m sorry”

 

_Kara would’ve stayed for good. Only if._

 

***

 

The next day was even worse for Kara, the world doesn’t give her a break apparently. Kara stormed into the art room, grabbing her artwork and plopping down at an empty table. The students currently at work all glanced at Kara as she made the sudden noise, but eventually they returned to their work. It made Kara even angrier than she already was that no one cared enough to come ask her what’s up.

 

 

Kara figured that was the worst part about her loner lifestyle. Kara had no one to turn to. Instead of venting her emotions, she just let them all bottle up inside of her until she burst like she had right now.

 

Of course Kara was in a mood because of something related to Lena. That was really the only thing that ever got her this infuriated anymore. It always came down to Lena. What always added to Kara’s anger was the fact that Kara was still so easily influenced by a girl that had moved on such a long time ago. Kara thinks Lena probably didn’t even care about her anymore, and here Kara was fuming over something related to the girl.

 

The source of Kara’s anger came in the form of Sam. Sam had ruined something for Kara, and she was so upset about it.

 

Kara had been so absorbed in the piece she was playing on the piano, that she hadn’t even heard Sam enter the music room. Her fingers glided over the keys effortlessly. Kara had gotten extremely goof. Sometimes other students would com in just listen to her play. A lot of people said they found her music relaxing. Kara was just starting to write her own stuff as well.

 

The piece Kara had been playing accompanied a somewhat popular song, so Sam must have picked up on what it was. Everyone knew Sam was a singer too, but Kara had never heard her sing before.

 

As Kara was playing, she heard a pleasant voice start to sing lyrics. The lyrics to the song. She opened her eyes to see Sam grinning at her as she sang. Kara hated the confident look on her face. She probably thought she was the greatest singer out there.

 

Kara really did try to continue. She had hoped that Sam would pick up on the death glare she was giving her and get the hint that she should leave. She didn’t though, and every second that ticked by. Kara was reminded more and more of Lena.

 

Kara was pissed because this was one of her only places to escape her thoughts of the brunette beauty. Kara came here to forget about Lena for a short time, not hang out with this girl that had Lena’s heart.

 

Kara knew she would never be able to look at the music room the same way again. Sam had come in and ruined it for her. She obviously hadn’t done it on purpose. But the thought still angered Kara. At least Sam hadn’t brought Lena with her this time. If she had brought Lena, Kara would have probably just given up and cried on the spot.

 

Sam’s arrogant smile never left her face. Kara didn’t think she could be more infuriated, but then Sam leaned down on the piano in a way, that her inner forearms were facing her and her hands were turned backwards grasping the edge of the piano. That’s when Kara saw it.

 

In the crook that was the inside of Sam’s elbow sat a small tattoo. It wasn’t that big and that’s why Kara hadn’t noticed it yet. It wasn’t bold and attention grabbing like the stars drawn up the outside of her right arm.

 

Before Kara really focused on it, it just looked like a little circle. After giving it more thorough inspection, Kara figured out that it was a perfectly drawn Sun.

 

_It’s an actual Sun._

 

Kara knew what it meant, it was the tattoo for Lena. She was certain about this since, she knows for a fact that Lena’s name means _sunlight_ in Greek.

 

Kara wasn’t really sure if this was anger coursing through her anymore, or just complete sadness. Tattoos are serious. They are basically permanent. Sam had dedicated a part of her skin for Lena. That was complete commitment and faith in an everlasting relationship. Sam was Lena’s and Lena was Sam’s. Lena loved Sam enough to spend the rest of her life with her. Kara would never get to be with Lena anymore.

 

The sudden realizations combined with her previous anger sent Kara flying out of her chair and out of the music room, leaving Sam confused and by herself. Kara hurtled into the old bathroom and sobbed. Kara sobbed for a long time, not worrying about anyone finding her. No one would come looking for her. No one cared.

 

Kara wasn’t really sure how long she was in the bathroom for, but she cried until she felt so emotionally drained that her body started to consume her physical energy as well. These emotions had been accumulating for months and months now, and that small little sun tattoo had been the trigger to set it all off.

Eventually Kara picked herself up off the floor and fixed her makeup. Her eyes were still bloodshot and she was sniffling like crazy, but she didn’t care at this point. She made her way out of the bathroom and into the quiet hallway. It was afterschool and most students had gone home.

 

Kara knew she wasn’t going to go back to the music room. She didn’t ever want to go back there. She would just associate that place with all of her negative emotions and Sam and and then in turn Lena. God, she just wished she could get over Lena. She still couldn’t wrap her head around why it was so difficult for her to.

 

Kara was pretty sure in that moment that she would be giving up piano for good. That meant she only had one other place to go. She made her way to the art room and opened the door. There were about four people working on pieces, but Kara didn’t mind them any attention. They never cared about her, so why should she care about them?

 

She plopped down in the corner and grabbed a piece of canvas. This was now the present again. She actually had a really cool idea. It would seem a little weird to the people around her, but she was sure that the end product would be amazing.

 

Kara just let all of her negative emotions wash over her, not neglecting any of them. She thought about hearing Sam say the word date, she thought about seeing the girl she loved kissing someone else, she thought about spending her nights alone, she thought about the way Lena ignored her now, she thought about the fact that Lena was in love with someone else now, she thought about that little tattoo that made her a big mess.

 

The tears didn’t stop flowing; Kara would move her head around the canvas so that the tears would fall down on different sections in different amounts. The tears tinted the canvas slightly because they were mixed with Kara’s make up. Kara didn’t really know what exactly she was aiming for, but she wanted to make a drawing or painting while integrating her tears into it.

 

The strange thing was, Kara found this surprisingly therapeutic, transferring her raw emotions onto a canvas. It was like her form of venting. She was free to express everything. She still felt like complete shit, but she figured this way she wouldn’t be up all night crying her eyes out.

 

What was even stranger was that someone had cared enough to take an interest in Kara. Someone had cared enough to pick up their artwork and supplies and make their way over to her. They sat down quietly across from Kara, drawing her attention.

 

Kara looked up and couldn’t really make out who it was through all the tears in her eyes. She froze in her spot, when she noticed familiar eyes. They looked nothing like Lena’s. Kara blinked and the remaining tears rolled down her cheeks.

 

It was Winn.

 

Winn is one of her oldest friend. Kara dumped him a few years ago, but remained friends with him after that, until Kara lost her path and forgot that there were actual people that really cared for her.

 

Kara knew that Winn was into art. He was sort of known for her comic books that circulated the school. He was bit of a nerd. Kara had seen a couple on occasion recently, and she had to admit that the art was sick. Winn had his own style that Kara had never seen anywhere else, and she loved the individuality of it.

 

Kara also knew that she rarely ran into Winn in the art room because he preferred to come early mornings before school started and Kara preferred to come after school.

 

Kara just stared at Winn, waiting for him to do something. He sent Kara a warm smile that basically said “I’m sorry, I’m here for you if you need me” and then went back to his artwork, not saying a word.

 

The smile had barely been detectable, and it was very small gesture, but it meant the world to Kara. Someone cared.

 

She glanced down at the canvas and realized she couldn’t bring herself to cry any more.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So loving all your comments, drop some more in. And i'll make sure to answer all your questions :) much love. You don't have to wait that long for the next chapter so tune in :)


	6. Plumerias

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam asks Lena to the Dance.

> "I know that when you look at me  
>  There's so much that you just don't see  
>  But if you would only take the time  
>  I know in my heart you'd find  
>  _**A girl who's scared sometimes**_  
>  _**Who isn't always strong**_  
>  _**Can't you see the hurt in me?**_  
>  _**I feel so all alone**_
> 
> ...tell me Will you Stay or Will you Run away?"- Run to you, Whitney Houston
> 
>  

Lena knew it was simply a distraction. She knew she was getting asked to the dance in a couple of minutes. Sam was bad at hiding her excitement plus she had been looking through her phone the other day and found a group message in which Sam and her friends were planning out how to help Sam ask her to the dance.

 

Lena had immediately exited out of the chat because she had wanted to be somewhat surprised. She had seen when she was getting asked, but she still didn’t know how.

 

Lena sometimes felt bored of Sam at this point. Some days she would forget to text her because she just didn’t really want to talk to her. She wasn’t sure if she had never paid much attention, but now she noticed quite frequently that Sam was actually rather arrogant. There was a difference between arrogance and confidence and Lena knew that Sam exuded with arrogance.

 

Sam’s arrogance came in many forms. First of all, Sam thought she was extremely good looking. Lena remembered her making a comment once along the lines of “Don’t you ever feel so lucky that you’re with me?”. Lena knew Sam was just trying to make a good laugh out of it, but she thinks Sam meant the most of it.

 

Sam thought she was awesome, and because she was oozing with confidence a lot of people at school swooned over her, and that gave her unnecessary ego boost, much to Lena’s discontent.

 

Sam is also obsessed with her popularity and her singing voice. She took the opportunity to perform with her band every chance she got. Lena finds it annoying when Sam would break out into a song at inconvenient time, like when Lena was trying to focus on her homework or talk about something serious. Also she joins a lot of school activities both academicals and extra curricular, sometimes Sam forgets she had things to do with Lena, but Lena doesn’t mind really.

 

Lena remembered that specific instance, when she had to present her special project at a contest. It’s something she was pretty much into- inventing stuffs, and so she joined this specific contest to showcase her talent and intelligence. Lena subtly asked Sam if she could be there, but Sam declined because she believed she had more important things to do. Sam didn’t know how important it was for Lena to have someone watch her. And so Lena was there standing on a podium, talking and pretending that some of her loved ones were listening to her talk. Sam made up for it though, as Sam sent her a bouquet of plumerias before the show, with a lovely message.

 

_You’re my sun, Lena. Good luck._

She called Sam after that, Lena had too, it was a sweet gesture after all. Sam seemed a bit confused though as to why Lena called. Lena thought Sam must’ve been really busy, because she was in a hurry to hang up. “Love you, well I’m glad you liked it. I’ll see you tomorrow”

 

Also she saw what Sam made for her. The tattoo made Lena feel trapped. She hated thinking about the little tattoo that sat on Sam’s inner elbow. The tattoo that signifies her name.

 

Lena hadn’t been with Sam when she thought of the idea. The tattoo Lena had input in was a 4 leaf clover Sam had sketched on the day they had the run in with Kara.

 

Simply thinking the blonde’s name brought a multitude of emotions bubbling up for Lena. She pushed them down for the most part for now, deciding she could focus on those later. She had already thought about Kara pretty much all day while she sat in class.

 

 

One day, Sam and Lena had made plans to have a night in and watch a bunch of Netflix movies. Sam was coming over at 6 and Lena had set up her couch so that they would cuddle under a mass of blankets and pillows while they watched movies and ate popcorn.

 

Lena remembered Sam rang the doorbell and when Lena had opened the door for her, Sam had walked in without even giving her a hug or a kiss. She was so preoccupied with facing her arms outward awkwardly and Lena couldn’t help but note how she looked like an idiot.

 

Lena hadn’t noticed that it was a tattoo at first. She had simply thought it was a birthmark or a mole or something that she had never taken notice before.

 

She had turned away to go make popcorn, slightly frustrated that Sam hadn’t given her hello kiss. Every little thing Sam did wrong hadn’t gone unnoticed by Lena lately. She didn’t know why she was so aware of her flaws and mistakes lately.

 

Sam huffed in what seemed to be annoyance and quickly followed Lena into the kitchen. The lighting was better in there than in the entryway, so when Lena spun around to yell at Sam for not saying or doing a single thing since coming inside, she noticed it wasn’t a birthmark. It was a new tattoo. A tattoo of a sun. She knew what it meant. It was a tattoo dedicated for her.

 

Lena honestly didn’t know how to react. She should be honored at the gesture and her heart should be swelling with love. The problem was Lena still couldn’t bring herself to love Sam. She still cared too much for Kara. She couldn’t give her heart to Sam when it seemed as if after all this time, Kara still had a vice- like grip on her heart. How could she just drop her feelings for someone she had been so attached to for so long?

 

That’s when Lena felt terrible, just absolutely terrible. She had pretty much led Sam on to the point where she had done something basically irreversible. Sam had put her permanent mark on her skin for her.  

 

Lena realized though that she shouldn’t feel terrible. Sam was an idiot. She was drunk of what she thought was love. Sam definitely had to notice that Lena never fully reciprocated any of her feelings or that she put a minimal amount of effort into the relationship rather frequently. Maybe she was so blinded by her feelings that she never noticed.

 

In Lena’s eyes, Sam had just made the stupidest move ever. Sure, it was sweet and romantic, but it was stupid. Sam had tattooed herself for a high school girlfriend, who she hadn’t even been dating for a full year. Sam had to realize that they weren’t going to last forever. Most high school relationship ended when high school did, and the ones that lasted were the ones in which both people where equally and extremely in love. Lena and Sam were not that couple, and Lena could never picture them being that couple either.

 

So basically, Sam had gotten something permanent to represent something that wasn’t, and it made Lena feel even more terrible that something that had started as a distraction from Kara had ended up like this. Sam was totally oblivious and it made Lena feel like the shittiest person ever for playing this game for so long.

 

She knew she couldn’t just break up with Sam If she wanted to. She was in too deep. She wasn’t even sure how she managed to made Sam think she loves her. Maybe it was because she was imagining that it was Kara standing in front of her most of the time, not Sam.

 

Lena just couldn’t believe that she could hold onto these feelings for so long. It had made more sense to her when her and Kara had been hooking up still, but now her and Kara didn’t even talk at all. How had she managed to still have deep feelings for Kara when the two had stopped sneaking around?

 

That’s when Lena realized it wasn’t just about sex. She didn’t like Kara a lot because it was great sex. She liked Kara for Kara. As long as Kara was still lurking around the corners of the school, Lena would still have these feelings.

 

Lena was ripped from her thoughts as she collided with the closed art room door and fell straight on her ass, rubbing her nose and forehead as she cursed herself for getting so lost in her thoughts.

 

As the pain in her head subsided to a slight throb, she remembered why she was even here. Sam had sent her here to pick up the sketchbook she had “left behind” here this morning. Lena knew though that it was just to buy time as she set up everything to ask her to the dance. It was a distraction, and Lena knew it, but she had eagerly nodded at Sam’s request and had said “anything for you” before walking off down to the art room.

 

Lena picked herself up off the floor and dusted off her ass before timidly pushing the art room door open. It was after school, so a couple of students were hanging out and working on their art and chatting.

 

Lena didn’t want to admit to herself but she had been so eager to go to the art room because she knew of one person who was there very day after school: Kara.

 

Lena tried to look casual as she scanned the faces at the tables. She instantly blushed when she realized they all had their eyes glued to her. They had probably head her crash in the door. She felt so embarrassed.

 

That’s when Lena realized that all eyes weren’t glued to her. Two pairs of eyes were focused on artwork still as their owners chatted away happily.

 

Lena stood rooted to the spot as she surveyed the two. As Lena took in the details she felt her stomach churn and it felt like all the wind had been knocked out of her.

 

Kara was one of the people who hadn’t paid her any attention. Par of her shining blonde hair was hanging in front of her face as she had her head angled down to take in her current sketch. She had a huge smile on her face as she chatted animatedly with the person sitting next to her.

 

The person sitting next to her happened to be Winn Schott. Lena ground her teeth as she looked at the two. She knew Winn was into Kara once, and she was definitely sure that he would give Kara whatever she wanted. _Is this why she hasn’t seen Kara these days? It’s because of this guy?_

Lena watched gloomily as Kara and Winn chatted away. The two ere sitting side by side and were sitting so close to each other that sometimes as the moved their arms, they would brush. Sometimes one of them would say something and look up at the other smiling. The other person would then look up and the two would smile at each other briefly before blushing and going back to their artwork.

 

The sight sickened Lena. She hated the fact that she couldn’t be like that with Kara. It actually infuriated Lena that Kara had never been like that with her. She had never had shy glances and cute small talk with Kara. She had always just been an outlet for sexual needs for Kara, nothing more.

 

The sight made Lena feel like shit because she realized that she wasn’t good enough for Kara and that made it feel as if millions of needles were stabbing her at once, and twisting around painfully. Tears pricked at Lena’s eyes, but she blinked them away before anyone could see.

 

Lena realized then that she had been standing there for quite some time now as she stared at Kara and Winn with sorrow in her eyes. People in the art room had probably noticed that by now. She didn’t want people thinking she was a creep.

 

She shifted and then glanced around the room, looking for Sam’s sketch pad. She spotted it and groaned for two reasons.

 

One: Sam was an idiot for leaving it on the table like that. It was centered perfectly on the table and sitting on the page was a picture of her with flowers in her hair and birds in the background. It was so cheesy that it actually made her feel sick. To top it all of, Sam had left a pencil on top of it to make it seem like she had tossed it there in a rush to leave, but the angle was so perfect that it totally looked staged.

 

Two: the sketchpad was sitting on the table closes to Winn and Kara. Lena didn’t know if she could handle going any closer to the two. She might start crying, or maybe even worse, she would start yelling at Kara for making her feel like complete shit.

 

Lena realized that if she didn’t retrieve the sketchbook, Sam would be pissed that she hadn’t seen the drawing. Lena slowly forced herself to take steps toward the table while hoping that Winn and Kara would be too engrossed in each other to notice.

 

Luckily for her, Winn and Kara were to engrossed in each other to notice. They both just kept sketching away as they happily exchanged stories and got to know each other better.

 

Lena was now at the table and within ear shot. Since Lena hadn’t heart Kara’s melodic voice in some time, she figured she would just hang out for a couple of extra seconds. Kara didn’t know she was there, so it wouldn’t be awkward.

 

“No seriously, I’m actually so awkward. This is actually embarrassing. Ah fuck it! I’ll tell you. I’ve never been on an actual date before” Lena wanted to slap herself because she was now eavesdropping on the typical get to know the person you’re flirting with and figure out their past relationship game, and she knew it would be so awkward. Lena wanted to just turn around and leave but she also wanted to know what else Kara would reveal about herself to Winn. Lena quickly picked up the pencil sketch pad before she missed any of the conversation.

 

“Yeah…I know you’ve heard things about me…and they’re right you know. I’m that kind of girl who don’t do feelings.”

 

“Liar…you just told me yesterday about that one time…but you haven’t really opened up completely about it. ” Lena’s ears quirked up at Winn’s question. This was she had stuck around to listen. Kara’s answer to this was important.

 

“Fine I think I should just come to terms with myself and say that— “

 

Kara’s head whipped up from her work as she heard something clattering to the floor, specifically, a pencil. Lena realized that she had leant in to make sure she clearly heard every word of Kara’s response and in the process Sam’s pencil had rolled off the sketchpad in Lena’s hands.

 

Time seemed to freeze as their eyes met for the first time in a while. Lena made sure to lay out all of her emotions into that one gaze, trying to show Kara how she wanted to talk about everything. Kara’s eyes on the other hand were stone cold. Lena was positive her heart couldn’t handle any more abuse after all her drama with Kara, but it still managed to shatter just a little bit more when she detected something along the lines of hatred in Kara’s gaze.

 

Kara’s eyebrows quirked up slightly as she realized that Lena must have been eavesdropping on her conversation with Winn. She quickly turned back to look at Winn and finish her sentence, now planning on saying something completely different that she had before.

 

“I just wanted to come to terms and say that I have never once developed feelings for anyone. I know it makes me seem like a cruel person, but I guess that’s just who I am. I used to question why, but I sort of just go with the flow now. I’ve come to accept it. It sucks if all those pointless flings can’t understand that. I guess I just haven’t met anyone yet that made me want to stick around”

 

Lena’s heart constricted painfully in her chest. Every sentence that left Kara’s mouth felt like a powerful punch to the stomach. Tears formed in her eyes and she didn’t make any attempts to stop them.

 

She knew Kara had put emphasis into every word because she knew that Lena was listening. She knew Kara’s word choice had been extremely deliberate just so that they would have this effect on Lena. It brought Lena an extreme amount of misery knowing that Kara deliberately wanted to hurt her this bad. The girl that Lena was most likely in love with hated her so much, and that emotional pain was extremely unbearable.

 

Lena didn’t even want to look at Kara. She had finally accepted the fact that maybe she should end things with Sam and stop fighting all of her feelings for Kara. She thought maybe she could make Kara one of those people that cared enough to stick around. She had been so completely wrong. It made her even more miserable when she realized that she would have to stay with Sam in order to distract herself from the extreme heartbreak she was experiencing right now.

 

Lena let tears spill from her eyes and she ran out of the art room quickly. The she remembered once again that Sam was going to be asking her in a couple of minutes. She couldn’t look like this.

 

Lena hurried to the nearest bathroom and fixed her makeup, making sure that she looked good enough in case any pictures were taken. She stayed in the bathroom for a couple of more minutes in order to calm down. She didn’t want to walk in there with runny nose and blood shot eyes. She didn’t want anyone knowing something was wrong with her.

 

Lena made her way to the music room and pretended like she still had no clue that Sam was about to ask her to dance. As soon as Lena walked up to Sam, Sam burst out into a song and asked Lena sweetly if she could be her date to the dance. Of course she did it with the whole shebang, and her band mates were backing her up. Lena felt so important on that very moment.

 

Lena wanted to completely absorb herself in Sam’s wonderful song and romantic way of asking, but her mind was still hung up on Kara’s words and scornful look in her eyes. Lena knew she could never be truly happy after seeing that. That encounter with Kara would be haunting her for a long time.

 

Lena knew she had made the right choice to let Sam finish her song though and ask her to the dance, because she needed her now more than ever. She needed someone to distract her from the pain. Sure, she felt terrible that it meant that she would only make Sam more attached to her, but her mind was so clouded with sadness now that she couldn’t think of any other alternatives.

 

If the people in the music room hadn’t been cheering loudly, all of them would have heard the sound of a door slamming.

 

 _It was Kara_. Kara followed Lena to the music room, because she felt horrible of what she did but that was before she witnessed all that shit.

 

Kara ran as fast as she could away from the music room, instantly hating herself for feeling bad about what she said earlier. She should have just let Lena feel like shit. Kara hated the fact that feelings made her do stupid things. _Why couldn’t she just ditch the feelings when it came to Lena? Why had she even developed feelings in the first place, when she had never done that before?_

 

The thing was, the instant Lena had left the art room in tears, Kara had felt so extremely guilty for causing such emotional damage for the girl she had such intense feeling for. Kara had turned immediately to Winn, glad she finally had someone she could confide in.

 

That’s when she finally told Winn, it was Lena. Lena was the one that got away. She told him, she had to put up that façade because that’s what she does best, push people away, and seeing Lena left the room in tears, made her feel double the pain she’s feeling now. Winn understood. Winn had patted Kara’s shoulder and told her that maybe she should chase after Lena and tell her what she truly feels. She watched Lena run into the bathroom, but suddenly nerves settled in as Kara got closer, ready to talk to Lena and apologize for her harsh words. She was even considering laying everything out right then and there.

 

Before Kara had time to organize her thoughts, overcome her nerves and make her way into the bathroom, Lena had already exited and headed farther down the hallway. Kara followed at a considerable distance so that Lena wouldn’t detect her.

 

Kara had watched the whole thing, the whole song. She had watched Lena’s reaction as she had flung herself into Sam at the end murmuring that she loved her back. She watched and her whole body felt hollow all over again. She had told herself to never go back to the music room because Sam had ruined it, and she should have listened to herself. It would have saved her a lot of unnecessary heartache.

 

Kara didn’t head back to the art room after that. She ran away from the music room with tears in her eyes. She thought she’d never cry again for the same girl who keeps on hurting her so bad. She went straight to her car and drove home. _How much more can she bear, after all of this?_  

 

She glanced at her night stand to see the last picture she had of Lena. Lena was wearing a formal outfit, presenting her work at a contest. She needed to capture that moment, because she knew how important that moment was for Lena, and it felt equally significant for her too. Lena didn’t know that Kara was there blended in the crowd, watching her with a smile on her face. Kara was proud of Lena. She even bought her her favorite flowers. Of course Kara didn’t put her name on the card. She doesn’t want Lena know, that she still means the world to her.

 

And so she wrote- _You’re my sun, Lena. Goodluck!_ Of course Lena was too stupid to realize that it was Kara who sent her the flowers, it wasn’t Sam. Lena was Kara’s sun. She always has been.

Kara cried the whole night, and was so tired that she didn’t go to school the next day. Kara didn’t know that heartache could be this severe.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt so emotional while writing this and reading it after, also Run to you by Whitney Houston is corny for some of ya'll but i think it kinda fits ja feel?
> 
> anyways, thanks for the nice comments guys :) I'm sorry for the heartache. Supercorp is endgame :)
> 
> Also i felt like extending a few more chapters so what do you guys think? also just give some more love, thank you.


	7. the Mural

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena's face is so god damn gorgeous so why not draw it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another filler chapter :) enjoy

Lena stormed out of Sam’s house. She was being slightly overdramatic, but she didn’t really care at this point. She had sort of been looking for a reason to get away from things lately, and this was good enough opportunity in her opinion.

 

She just felt overwhelmed by Sam lately. She wanted to hang out with her everywhere and spend every possible second together. She knew it was her fault she had gotten this clingy, but it still sucked to feel like everything was closing in on her.

 

As much as Lena wanted to ask Sam for a break, she just knew she couldn’t. and it wasn’t like there was only one reason holding her back, there were actually multiple.

 

First of all was the dance, which happens to be tomorrow night. She couldn’t just possible ditch Sam the night before the dance after so much effort had been put into just the preparations so far. Plus, Lena really wanted to go.

 

Second was the freaking tattoo. Sam still flashed it as much as possible. She wore short sleeves every chance she got. Everyone at the school knew about it by now, and Lena hated that. That meant Kara knew about it. She wondered what Kara thought about it when she had found out.

 

Lastly was the same phrase that Sam and Lena both said to each other: “I love you”. Sam was deeply in love with her. And Lena just couldn’t break her heart. Sure, she didn’t love her back, but she cared for her very much. She couldn’t just break things off with her because she knew Sam would feel like awful for the longest time, also she would really feel bad for herself.

 

All of these reasons had been putting a lot of pressure and stress on Lena recently, so she did need one night away from Sam. She figured if she left now, she would be fine again for the dance tomorrow night. She hoped she would be at least. She wanted to enjoy the dance.

 

Lena’s excuse to leave Sam’s company angrily came around while they had been watching a movie together on Sam’s couch. Sam let Lena pick a movie, but Sam had done anything possible to express her boredom to Lena. First, she sighed out every half minute or so. Then she began to shift restlessly. Then she got up and went to the bathroom for 10 minutes. After that, she came back and tried to start to make out session with Lena. Lena had refused because she was not in the mood. Sam sighed out in defeat and went back to not paying attention to the movie at all. Then Sam just sat at the opposite end of the couch texting a lot of people and Lena felt ignored.

 

You see, this is the thing Lena hated about Sam. As much as she felt important most of the time around her, Lena felt like an object being used by Sam-as a glitter, to make her shine even more in the crowd. Sam wanted all the attention she got being with Lena and sometimes Lena felt like a backdrop, that her whole purpose was just to be there and support Sam.

 

Lena had acted extremely fed up with Sam’s behavior. Sure, she was really pissed, but she acted like she was extremely fuming. She stood up from her spot, screamed at Sam for not wanting to spend time with her, and left out of the door before Sam could even react.

 

Sam just wore her down so much to the point that she didn’t have time for anything else. She hadn’t wanted to be one of those girls who dedicated their whole life to their partner, but she had ended up like that.

 

She knew why it had come to that. It was simple actually. Lena needed a distraction, and it needed to be a constant one. Every free minute Lena had, her mind wandered to that particular blonde that she couldn’t get out of her head. Lena needed to be with Sam constantly in order to push her thoughts about Kara to the back of her mind. It was the only solution she had figured out so far.

 

See Lena’s dilemma now is that she had no idea where to go. She had to go somewhere fast, clear some air, because she knew for a fact that Sam was going to come looking for her. The girl rarely even let her out of her sight, so she knew she wouldn’t just let her walk away.

 

As Lena considered where she could go, she realized she had absolutely no idea on who to turn to. She had lost a lot of her friends in the past couple of months because of Sam. It’s not like Sam scared them away or anything, it was just that Lena had been so invested in Sam that she had forgotten to maintain most of her friends. As a result, most of her friends stopped putting effort into her, and she hadn’t talked to them in a while.

 

All of her friends now were Sam’s friends as well. Some from the student boards, or the athletes from the school’s volleyball team, and Sam’s band mates. Sam was a very well rounded person. But Lena wasn’t into all of these things, if Sam also really paid attention to what Lena wants, Sam would know that Lena loves books, Lena loves inventions and engineering, Lena loves physics, chemistry and all that jazz. Maybe Sam knew about all these, but never really put an effort on showing Lena her support.

 

Lena had ended up in some random café. She knew Sam wouldn’t be able to find her there. She ordered some coffee and a muffin and took a seat as far away from the windows as possible, just in case Sam came passing by. She dug her phone out of her pocket. It was on vibrate, and she had felt vibrating almost constantly since she had left Sam’s house.

 

It had only been about 30 minutes since she had left and she already had 11 missed calls from Sam and 20 unread messages. She just deleted it without even opening any of them. She did the same to the voicemails. She didn’t care about what she had to say at the moment. She just wanted to be alone.

 

Lena sips from her coffee, giving her that relaxing feeling again that was gone for a long time. She sighed out of relief, her eyes wandered around the café, when something caught her attention. It was 2 seats away from where she was sitting, her heart stopped for a moment when she saw her face painted directly on the wall. It was a mural of her face, her own eyes, perfectly captured in shades of blue and green and it was looking back directly at her. It was beautiful, she thought. She realized it was her first time to be in this place, and she was certain her family doesn’t own this said establishment.

 

She approached one of the waitresses who were slightly focused on cleaning the table next to her.

 

“Excuse me, but do you know who painted that thing” She didn’t know how to ask it of course, so she awkwardly pointed out the wall that was unmistakably dedicated for her.  

 

“Oh you mea—wait… you’re the girl in the painting” the waitress realized without delay that it was Lena. I mean the painter who ever that is, was exceptionally good at depicting Lena’s face but so as remarkably good in memorizing Lena’s face, since every detail was expressed in every stroke.

 

“Well I don’t know who, because there were bunch of them really, I mean if you’d notice, that’s not the only work of art here, and there were loads of volunteers here last weekend, they were allowed to paint on the walls here to make the café look more organic…they’re from the National City High, bunch of art students perhaps?” the waitress said nonchalantly, as she picked up her scrap of cloth and continued to clean the table.  Lena just nodded and continued to appreciate the picture.

 

She doesn’t know what or how to react and feel really. She knew without a doubt in her mind who did it. Lena knew who painted her face on the wall, and it just gave warmth to her heart. A smile gradually formed on her face, but tears were also on the brink of falling from her eyes. All emotions came crashing down onto her and she just can’t suppress it anymore. She doesn’t even stop herself from saying it.

 

_It’s Kara._

_***_

The second Lena let her mind wander off freely, Kara started to flood her mind, and she lets it specially after seeing the artwork. She just sort of let all her memories of her and Kara bombard her thoughts. She didn’t even try to hold them back this time. It felt good to just let them float freely in her mind. It was tiring to have to constantly try to ignore every single thought about the blonde. Lena felt a weight lift off her shoulders as she sifted through so many things related to Kara.

 

Lena greedily held onto anything she could remember about Kara’s lips. They were incredible. They were soft and sweet and she just loved the feeling of them on her own. She loved feeling those lips travel down her neck and to different parts of her body.

 

As Lena thought more and more about Kara, she realized things had shifted towards the end. Things were slightly different than when things had started off.

 

Lena hated acknowledging it because it made her a little less mad at Kara. But it was true that Kara had changed a little bit towards the end of whatever they had. Lena thought back to all of the hooking up and could count numerous occasions in which the blonde had stuck around for a little afterwards.

 

The memories made a slight smile pop up on Lena’s lips when she remembered how it felt to be nuzzled up to Kara. She loved when Kara would run her hands through her hair. It clamed her down so much, and it made her feel loved. Sure, Kara never stayed for too long, but Lena knew it was probably something new to Kara. Kara had really tried with Lena sometimes. She realized this now, because of the painting she just saw earlier. Sam might have dedicated a small part of her skin for Lena, but Lena can’t stop thinking about the fact that Kara dedicated a whole damn wall for her.

 

Yet with all these great thoughts and memories, came a slew of bad ones as well. Lena remembered how it felt to stare at Kara as she passed by in the hallway and never be acknowledged, only to be dragged into the nearest supply closet minutes later and kissed like she was just being used for the rush.

 

She also remembered all the times she felt terrible because she knew that she wasn’t the only one. Kara always had multiple people at once to go to for hooking up. Sometimes Lena just convinced herself for the time being that it hadn’t been true. Thinking back on herself now, Lena realized she was so naïve.

 

Lena hated herself for sitting here, with these thoughts. She was now seated on the place closest to the painted wall. She should have been up and moving to occupy herself. She couldn’t stand the fact that she had let all of these memories add to her already conflicting mood.

 

She knew where she wanted to go right now, but she just couldn’t. she felt like she would see something she didn’t want to. She felt like Winn would most likely be there, or some other chick.

 

Lena wasn’t surprised that she wanted to go to Kara’s. She had already predicted that the second she had distanced herself from Sam, that she would want to see Kara. Sam was gone now, and there was no distraction. Lena could think of so many reasons not to to see Kara right now, but for some reason she still rose from her place in the café. She didn’t even bother hiding herself. She wasn’t worried about Sam finding her anymore. She was very sure that Sam wouldn’t think to look at Kara’s.

 

Sooner than Lena had expected; she was at Kara’s house. She had never felt so nervous in her entire life. She knew Kara wouldn’t let her in. Kara would just tell her to leave. Kara’s words in the art room had come rushing back to her.

 

_I just wanted to come to terms and say that I have never once developed feelings for any of those hook ups. I know it makes me seem like a cruel person, but I guess that’s just who I am. I used to question why, but I sort of just go with the flow now. I’ve come to accept it. It sucks if all those pointless flings can’t understand that. I guess I just haven’t met anyone yet that made me want to stick around._

The words still crushed Lena to this day. They made Lena hesitate so that she was still standing at the foot of Kara’s driveway. She knew Kara didn’t feel the same as she did, and that gave her the most indescribable feeling ever. But she holds on to the idea and hope that it was Kara who painted her, and that could mean at least something. At least.

 

The feeling just made her feel completely depressed, but it was also more complicated that just that.

 

Lena considered turning around and just going back to Sam. She figured being miserable with Sam would be better than the possible heartbreak she was about to have to endure if she rang Kara’s doorbell.

 

Lena realized she had nothing left to lose at this point. She slowly trudged up Kara’s driveway, giving herself a mental pep talk on the way up.

 

_Here goes._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's kind of short. But hold on ur seat belts for what's coming. Also thanks for the love guys.leave some comments and some questions if you have. Also vote for Supercorp at the Zimbio poll.


	8. Flipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain pain pain!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm Sorry.

_Here goes_

Lena hadn’t even realized that she had rang the doorbell. She stood there mortified as she waited for someone to answer the door. Her hands were as cold as ice. Lena was not ready to face Kara, but here she was. There’s no turning back. After about a minute, Lena was still freaking out, but no one had answered the door. Lena couldn’t hear footsteps getting closer inside though.

 

Lena didn’t know if she should ring the doorbell again. Instead, she decided to knock on the back door. She had done that sometimes when she had come over to hook up with Kara. Kara’s sister Alex, isn’t always home anyway. As she walked around the side of the house to the back, Lena remembered how much she loved Kara’s backyard. Despite that strong façade that Kara puts up, Lena knew how much Kara loves animals and nature. Kara was such a sucker for puppies, butterflies and flowers. Thinking about how soft Kara is made Lena smile like a fool.

 

Kara’s backyard was spacious and it wasn’t enclosed by a fence. There was so much room to run around, and part of the property was covered in tall grass. Lena remembered sneaking out into the grass and laying down with Kara in it when Kara’s parents or Alex were home. If the girls were laying down in the grass, they were hidden. They could do whatever they wanted.

 

Lena also remembered the big patio with the fire pit. She remembered one time Kara had let her stay and they had cuddled by the fire and Kara had thrown random stuff into the fire to see what would happen. Lena remembered the one time Kara had thrown a can of soda in there and it had exploded. Steaming hot soda had hit Lena’s skin, leaving bad burns but it hadn’t been too bad because Kara had taken care of her and gently kissed the pain away.

 

Lena’s favorite part of Kara’s backyard was the treehouse. It was pretty big because as Kara got older and more capable, she would make additions to it. It had fit her and Kara comfortably on many occasions. Lena realized how well rounded Kara is too, she was very physically capable.

 

When Lena turned the corner and was standing in the backyard, she felt nostalgia sweep over her. She actually missed being here. She made her way to the back door and peered inside. The kitchen light was on, but she couldn’t see anyone. She knocked on the door and waited for thirty seconds. No one came. She knocked again. Another thirty seconds and still no one.

 

Lena turned around to just survey the wonderful backyard in the night. The air was crisp and it was pleasantly cool out. Lena wandered around for a little bit, not really caring If Kara or anyone in her family saw her.

 

Lena made her way through some of the tall grass before she decided to just give up and call Sam to come pick her up. She grabbed her phone and turned it on. She continued to walk as she waited for her phone to completely load. As she made her way back to the side of the house though, she passed the treehouse. She figured it wouldn’t hurt to climb up there and just relax for a couple minutes while thinking about some of the memories her and Kara shared up there.

 

Lena climbed the ladder and was just about to haul herself up onto the platform when she realized was a flashlight shining somewhere inside. She decided to simply peek over the ledge and see what she could from there.

 

Lena realized this probably sounded bad and perverted but the first thing she noticed was Kara’s perfect bum. Kara was bent over to pick something up, and her bum was facing Lena. Lena’s eyes stayed glued to it until Kara straightened up with something in her hand. Lena couldn’t really make much else of Kara out at the moment, because her back was turned to Lena, plus it was kinda dark. Kara’s blonde hair shone in the faint light of the flashlight though.

 

Lena decided to survey the inside of the treehouse to see if anything had changed. The instant Lena’s eyes hit the walls she realized a lot had changed.

 

The walls were covered in art work now. They had been bare before. Lena assumed that they were all works of Kara. Lena knew that Kara spent all of her time in the art room now, she just hadn’t suspected that Kara had already produced so many pieces. Sure, a lot of them were simply sketches, but Lena still thought they were creative and wonderful.

 

As Lena’s travelled along the walls, she took in a lot of the pieces. There were a lot of what looked like Kara’s view from up here. She could see the backyard was depicted with different styles to represent different times of the day. Her favorite was the one of the sunset.

 

There were also sketches on cluster of pictures near the corner, and her breath caugh in her throat. She thought she was imagining things.

 

In the corner, Lena could faintly see herself. Multiple times. Kara had drawn her a lot. Lena frantically glanced along the rest of the walls to see if Kara had drawn anyone else. Her heart lifted a bit when she realized the only other people covering the walls were members of Kara’s family.

 

Lena wondered what this could mean, there was the mural then now this. _Why had Kara drawn so many portraits of her? Had Kara drawn a lot of other people too but they just hadn’t turned out well? Was Lena just easy to draw? Were Kara’s pictures of other people hanging up somewhere else in Kara’s house?_

 

Lena was snapped from her thoughts as she realized Kara’s hand had lifted so that she could place a new picture on the walls. Kara’s heart dropped from it’s high place when she saw the face on the paper.

 

Winn.

 

Before Lena even realized what was going on, she had hauled herself up so that she was standing in the doorway of the treehouse. She had taken a defensive stance for some reason. Her legs were planted firmly to the ground and her shoulders were squared. She didn’t even stop herself from bursting out and revealing herself.

 

 

“No! Don’t hang that one up”

 

Kara’s head whipped around when she heard Lena’s words. Lena was surprised that she had managed to even speak right now. She figured she wouldn’t have been able to get words past the lump in her throat.

 

The second the two girls were facing each other, their eyes locked. They couldn’t really read each other’s expressions though because it was pretty dim up here. Instead, they just looked each other sparkling eyes and too in each other’s features. It has a while since they last gaze at each other’s eyes. They rarely encountered each other this closely anymore, so both of them were absorbing the face of the one they loved while they still could.

 

Kara was brought back to her senses and finally spoke.

 

“What gave you the idea that you could just come here and tell me how to decorate this place? It’s my treehouse…and what the hell are you doing here?”

 

“I just feel as if that picture would ruin the whole place, it doesn’t fit.”

 

Even though it was dark, Lena could very easily make out the glare Kara was shooting at her. Kara took a step closer and Lena couldn’t move back. Since Kara was a little bit closer now, Lena could tell just how angry was Kara right now. Kara was infuriated. If it had been light out, Lena would have been able to notice that there was also a lot of hurt in Kara’s eyes.

 

“Lena…Just go” Kara sound defeated however. Lena felt how broken Kara is. Lena didn’t feel like going just yet.

 

“I want to stay” Lena didn’t see any point in lying anymore. She was too tired to think of an excuse or change the subject. She knew she was going to be completely straightforward with Kara right now.

 

“I don’t want you to. Please Lena leave.” Kara took another step closer to Lena, who was still trapped.

 

Lena motioned around the room and then said “I saw the mural…I liked it…and I like what you did with this place”

 

Kara’s head instantly whipped around to where all of the pictures of Lena were. Kara had probably realized that Lena had seen them. When Kara turned her head back around, Lena detected embarrassment laced with some anger in Kara’s eyes.

 

“Tha..thanks. Now go” Kara said. At this point, she was close enough to Lena that she could reach out and shove her, which is exactly what Kara went to do. When her hands made contact with Lena’s shoulders, Lena had a closer look of Kara’s eyes and it was covered with tears. But before Lena could say something, she realized then that she had been on the edge of the platform. She was going to fall all the way down to the ground.

 

Lena was in a state of shock, but luckily Kara acted quickly enough. Kara’s hands moved instantly from Lena’s shoulders and wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist and yanked the brunette closer to her. Both of their balances were thrown off and they went stumbling to the treehouse floor.

 

Somehow Lena had ended up on top of Kara. Both girls lay on the floor dazed and extremely close to each other. The picture of Winn had floated off to a corner of the room. Coincidentally, it was the corner where all the pictures of Lena were located.

 

When the two girls finally realized their positions, they wanted to push each other away and be as far away as possible while at the same time they wanted to stay like this forever. Lena can still discern Kara’s rapid heartbeat. Kara couldn’t just let her heart calm from exploding out of her chest, because of the fact that she almost let Lena fall and get hurt. She wouldn’t forgive herself if anything happened to Lena. Also her chest is pounding so damn much because of how close Lena is to her right now. Lena blushed as she remembered being in a similar position in this same place a long time ago.

 

Both girls were at a loss for words. Lena finally had the courage to stare at Kara’s eyes, but Kara’s eyes won’t meet hers. Lena shifted her weight a little bit so that she was resting her weight on her elbows. Her face had only moved a couple of centimeters away from Kara’s, so the two were still extremely close.

 

Kara knew once she looked at those emeralds, she would be entirely lost in Lena’s eyes. And so she did. In Lena’s, Kara saw determination, sorrow, confusion and hope. In Kara’s, Lena saw anguish, regret, profound sadness and confusion.

 

Lena purposely puffed a hot breath out onto the strands of Kara’s hair, that were slightly covering her angelic face. She didn’t know why she did that but it seemed the old memories of what the two did up here were giving her enough confidence.

 

To Lena’s delight, she felt Kara shudder slightly underneath her. She still had that effect on Kara.

 

Kara stuttered then, trying to decide what to say. She had some options. She was leaning towards insisting on Lena leaving, but at the same time part of her wanted Lena to stay close to her. Shew knew making Lena leave would be the best decision, but her brain didn’t seem to be functioning too well at the moment.

 

Instead, all Kara said was “What color is your dress?” she instantly hated herself for brining up something related to the dance, because that meant Sam would most likely get brought up. Kara just had no other idea of what to say other than ‘leave’.

 

Lena took a little bit to respond because Kara’s question had caught her off guard.

 

“Oh..um, my dress to the dance?...it’s red…together with white heels and red lipstick”

 

“You’ll look great in it” a smile almost faltered on Kara’s lips. Lena was looking at Kara adoringly, because a simple compliment from Kara just made her feel complete. Kara slightly pushed Lena forward, Kara then rose from the floor and was now in a sitting position. Lena was a bit disappointed with the distance that was made between them now.

 

“I bet Sam will look dashing in red as well” Kara’s comment on Sam didn’t sound hateful at all, in fact Kara came out sincere all of a sudden.

 

“Kara… can we please not talk about her? Lena had muttered frustratedly at Kara. She honestly hated the fact that Kara always brought her up every single time they talk now.

 

“Why not?” Kara was extremely hopeful. The way Lena had replied had sounded cold and bitter as if she was angry at the thought of Sam. Maybe they had fought and broken up. Maybe Sam had cheated or something. Maybe that’s why Lena’s here. Maybe Lena needed some senseless sex to take her mind off of the things. Maybe that’s why Lena had still held her position close to Kara.

 

Kara wasn’t actually sure if she would be able to handle meaningless sex with Kara right now though. Too many emotions had built up over all of this time that she probably would feel crushed when Lena got up to leave afterwards. If Lena and her had sex, Kara would most definitely be begging Lena to stay.

 

Lena hadn’t responded to Kara’s question yet, when she finally did, it had been some time and Kara was lost in thought. Lena’s words brought her back to reality.

 

“Because I want to kiss you right now” Lena said as she leaned in. Kara was right. Both girls couldn’t actually fully believe this was happening, but they still closed their eyes and prepared for what they had been longing for ages to do. They were both extremely surprised that they had just completely skipped fighting. Both girls had definitely pictured a fight instead of this when they imagined talking again for the first time in forever.

 

All of their thoughts were pushed far back into their minds as their lips connected in a soft and hesitant kiss. When both girls realized that the other wasn’t going to pull away, they pushed their lips fully onto each other’s.

 

Their lips moved in a slow and steady rhythm. This was most definitely not a sloppy and hurried kiss. This kiss was so emotionally charged that both girls felt their chests clenching. They realized the only way to get over the pain in their chests was to kiss harder.

 

Kara’s thoughts were in a whirlwind now, her and Lena were kissing. Lena was kissing her and not Sam. Lena had initiated the kiss and she just couldn’t believe it.

 

Lena detached her lips form Kara’s and instantly placed them on Kara’s neck. She left open mouthed kisses all over Kara’s neck and back to Kara’s lips while she continued to cling onto her. Lena let her emotion show of how much she missed Kara. She missed her so much, that she wanted to stay in this moment forever. Lena was so into the kiss when her phone in her pocket went berserk.

 

Lena realized then that all of the stuff she had missed from Sam while her phone was off was finally coming in all at once. That’s when it finally hit her. She was cheating on Sam right now. If her phone hadn’t done that right now, she probably would have sex with Kara.

 

Lena didn’t know why she considered it cheating now when she had never considered it cheating in the past. Maybe it was just the fact that so much had happened since the last time it had occurred.

 

Now, serious feelings were on the table. Sam wasn’t only a distraction. It was more complicated. Sam was in love with her. She couldn’t just cheat on someone who trusted her with their heart. She couldn’t do that. She probably hadn’t realized that until now because Kara just had this way of intoxicating her completely. Lena knew it was because she loved this girl, but she couldn’t give into that feeling right now. It would be wrong.

 

Lena then suddenly pushed Kara and stood before she wouldn’t have a chance to. Lena wanted to cry because all the drama she had just caused. She should have just stayed with Sam. Instead she was staring down at the girl she loved. Kara had so much hurt in her eyes right now, and Lena hated herself because she had been the one to cause it.

 

Kara looked down, knowing what’s about to happen next. She knew Lena would leave her because what they did was wrong. But she had to know, she had to ask her.

 

“Do you love her?” Kara’s voice cracked at the end of the question. It had caught Lena off guard. She couldn’t tell Kara the truth. Lena’s eyes were filled of tears. She couldn’t even look at Kara right now, because of the guilt she’s feeling. Instead of responding, she just turned around and hastily made her way down the ladder. Once she hit the ground, she ran as fast as she could so that Kara couldn’t catch up.

 

Kara let her back fall on the floor of the treehouse. She was now lying on the floor, perplexed and disabled. Lena had left her. Lena had kissed her and then left her. The roles were reversed now, and Kara hated it.

 

She needed to let out all of this negative energy that had just rushed into her. She shot up and made her way to the corner of the tree house. She ripped all the pictures of Lena from the wall and placed it on a box. She put the one picture of Winn in their place. Tears stream down her cheeks as she did so.

 

Lena had predicted it wrong, event though she’s extremely in pain, it was Kara who had to endure a broken heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm sorry you probably hate me right now for making Lena do that. Also, someone literally said that this is the most disgusting portrayal of Lena. well then I'm sorry. Firs of all, this is an AU, I already put a disclaimer that they are nothing like their characters in the TV Series, so sorry if you're offended by the story. Also this is a high school AU? so they kinda still don't have that sense of maturity. But what I'm trying to show here, is some role reversals and eventually some character development. So don't be mad at me. I love Lena so much, but i had to depict her like this for the story, and for some angst ya'll. Also if you're easily triggered, don't read it. that simple. I mean this in a nice way though. But I promise Lena will come through, just like her we've done a lot of stupid things in high school, also Kara. They love each other so damn much but they still have to figure out how to fix the mess they're in right now. so just be patient with me okay? :) thanks.
> 
> But if a lot of you still think that way, then I'd probably consider to not continue this story. Again I'm sorry for offending a lot of you. :) drop some love, leave some comments.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara is lovesick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another filler chapter :) to give you a rest for the angst it had been and for the angst that is yet to come ;)

The dance was alright, Lena guessed. She was sat in her room, just replaying the night in her head. She was meant to be at an after party right now, but she had lied to everyone and told them that she wasn’t feeling any well. Sam hadn’t even offered to come be her nurse. She was too invested with her clique. Apparently the prospect of a good party mattered more to Sam than Lena’s health. Lena was actually pretty angry about that, but she didn’t start any argument, since she was too exhausted both physically and emotionally.

 

Lena was out of the dance for the majority of the time anyways because she couldn’t get the previous night out of her head. She really wished she could though, so she could have had fun with Sam. Instead, she just felt terrible about everything and how she had cheated on the poor girl. She was still as in love with her as ever, completely oblivious that something might be up with Lena.

 

To make everything up to Sam, Lena had acted even more attached to her than she normally did, thinking it would somehow wipe away what she did last night.

 

She didn’t leave Sam’s side the whole time because she was trying so hard to make up for what she had done. Sam absolutely loved it though. She kept on talking to everyone in the crowd, dangling Lena around.

 

Even though Lena was next to Sam the whole time, her thoughts were somewhere else the majority of the time. It was simple things that took her mind away to Sam. Once Lena’s thoughts were centered on the blonde, it was very difficult to focus them on something else.

 

Lena remembered feeling Sam place her palms on the small back of her back to bring her closer then instantly flashing back to the previous night with Kara. She couldn’t help but think: _Kara had been so much gentler and genuine when doing the exact same thing._

Lena had so many memories with Kara that it wasn’t really hard to generate thoughts of the blonde. Throughout the dance, certain songs reminded her of Kara, people that Kara used to hang out with a lot reminded her of Kara, and the blue decorations lining the walls reminded Lena an awful lot of Kara’s eyes. Everything she looks at reminded her of Kara, even when she closed her eyes, the blonde smothers her mind.

 

As Lena’s thought more and more about the night, saying “alright” to describe the dance started to sound like she was sugarcoating it. It got a lot worse towards the end.

 

First of all, Sam was getting slightly annoyed with her because she had to keep waving her hand to get her to focus on her. Lena just couldn’t help but absorb herself in the memories of last night, even if she knew it was completely wrong.

 

Sam and Lena couldn’t even share a dialogue of more than a couple sentences before Lena would drift off to her dream world again. Sam became annoyed, and Lena always ended up in a mood of Sam was. She rubbed of her easily.

It didn’t end there. The emcee for the dance had stopped the music to announce that the crowning of the king and queen of the dance was happening. Lena knew she wasn’t going to be crowned queen or whatever, so she didn’t get her hopes up by secretly praying she would win. She knew every girl at the dance was secretly hoping that they would win, but at the same time they were all pretty sure on the girl that would actually get the title.

 

What came as a surprise was that after the crowning, student council had decided that a new category would be announced: cutest couple. The second Lena head it she just got a really bad feeling. She didn’t even glance at Sam, who had squeezed her around the waist and sent her a wide smile.

 

The second Lena head her and Sam’s name ring through the whole gym, she wanted the ground to swallow her up. This was just another reason it would make it even harder to leave Sam.

 

Sam on the other hand was completely elated. She grabbed Lena’s face in both of her hands and kissed her in front of everyone. Lena should have wrapped her arms around her and shared a cute kiss with her, but instead all she could think about was the fact that her lips weren’t as soft as Kara’s and that they didn’t taste nearly as good.

 

Lena realized then that kissing Kara last night was probably the biggest mistake she had ever made. She had been doing such a good job of pushing down her feelings for the blonde, almost to the point where they were barely there at some points.

 

Now, she had vivid memories of what it felt like to kiss Kara, and she remembered how much she loved to feel those lips on hers. She realized that feelings that were lying somewhat dormant in the back of her head had been fully awakened again and the struggle she had gone through was starting to come back all over again.

 

She realized it would be even more difficult to ignore it hits time because she couldn’t really get any closer to Sam. Sam does not fit as a distraction anymore, and she felt stuck with her nonetheless.

 

The fact that Lena was realizing this right when her and Sam had been crowned cutest couple of the night was not one of her finest accomplishment, but she tried to kiss Sam back with as much effort as possible. The crowd aww’d and Sam and Lena walked hand in hand to take pictures for the school and receive crowns shaped like hearts. She couldn’t help but cringe a little bit when Sam leaned down to whisper in her ear, how much happiness she was feeling.

 

As all of this was going on, only one thought had been swirling through Lena’s head:

 

_What will Kara think of all of this?_

_­­_ ***

 

Lena figured that Kara wouldn’t hear about her and Sam being crowned cutest couple until school on Monday. She had initially thought that Kara would find out that night at the dance but after scanning the crowd on multiple occasions, she realized Kara hadn’t attended the dance. Lena had figured that maybe Kara would have shown up with Winn.

 

She also knew that Kara didn’t do social media anymore, so she didn’t have to worry about Kara seeing any pictures of Sam and Lena over the weekend. Kara had also pretty much cut off contact from everyone in the past couple of months, so Kara hearing about Sam and Lena from other people was probably not a possibility as well.

 

Lena still had the same gym period as Kara, so she decided she would wait until then to try to catch a glimpse of the blonde she was missing. She wanted to see if Kara would even want to look at her. She wanted to read Kara’s eyes to see how the girl was feeling. She wanted to brush past Kara on the way to her locker because any physical contact with the girl would make her feel alive, even if it was just a slight touch of their arms.

 

As Lena waited for everyone else to change like she always did, she tried to casually scan the girls changing without looking like a creep. Her eyes instantly darted to Kara’s locker, but the blonde was nowhere in sight.

 

Lena decided it couldn’t hurt to ask someone in Kara’s gym glass where Kara was at the moment. She figured she would be able to ask without people thinking she was worried. Also, everyone sort of wanted to talk to her now after her recognition at the dance that weekend. It was bizarre for Lena, since she’s not used to the fame she was experiencing, unlike her brother Lex, who had always been a household name. She realized it was also because how she was attached to Sam that’s why she could feel herself becoming popular.

 

Lena walked up to a girl she had seen Kara chat with on occasion. She waited for the girl to pull her shirt over her head before tapping her on the shoulder lightly. The girl turned around and said, “Hey Lena! Can I help you with something?” Lena was wide eyed and in disbelief that the girl even knew her name.

 

_“Actually have you seen Kara? I need to ask her something really fast?”_

_“Danvers? She wasn’t here today. Mr. Snapper said that the attendance had it that she was called out for the day by her mom.”_

 

Lena turned to walk away, slightly worried about Kara, before she realized she should probably thank the girl or something.

_“Oh…thanks then.”_

 

The girl smiled at Lena before saying, _“Yeah, no problem. By the way you and Sam were so cute at the dance!”_

Lena just nodded without even absorbing what the girl said. She actually had enough of it since the dance. Basically anyone Lena had come into contact with since the dance wanted to tell her that her and Sam were the most perfect couple ever. She couldn’t stand it.

 

Nevertheless, Lena still said “Thanks” before turning away and making her way back to her locker, disappointed that Kara hadn’t shown up to school today.   


Lena felt worry settle in because she was scared that maybe something happened to Kara. She reassured herself that it was only one day and that Kara was just probably sick.  But even the thought of Kara being sick, made her worry even more.

 

Lena always thought about Kara during school, but she found it difficult to focus on anything other than the blonde for the rest of the day. She figured she would probably be like this until she could catch an actual glimpse of Kara.

 

Tuesday came around and Kara still wasn’t at school. Wednesday followed and Kara still wasn’t showing up to school. Lena was freaking out at this point because she was starting to think of every possible scenario for why Kara wasn’t coming to school and the majority of them weren’t good. In short, it was killing her.

 

Lena just needed to see Kara in person. Sure she could instantly pull up a perfect image of the girl in her head but she couldn’t thrive on those mental pictures for much longer. She needed to see Kara in person otherwise she’d go insane.

 

***

 

Kara wasn’t really sure how she had managed to actually find the strength to get out of bed today and get to school with time to spare. She was just wandering around the hallways like she didn’t have any particular purpose. She knew she’d end up at her class eventually.

 

Today was Thursday, and it was the first time this week that Kara had shown up to school.

 

Kara wasn’t at all in any form-sick. But she wasn’t exactly well enough to go to school either the past couple of days. It was this weird thing where she just couldn’t find the energy to do anything except breath and get up from bed from time to time to use the washroom. She never thought she’d experience the state of getting her heart broken.

 

In all actuality though, Kara’s desire to do absolutely nothing wasn’t weird. She knew exactly why it was happening. Hell she couldn’t’ stop think about what was causing her to feel so depressed.

 

Lena.

 

She just couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that Lena could so easily show up at her house and kiss her and then suddenly doubt everything and go running back to Sam.

 

Kara hated seeming like some weak person who couldn’t get over someone who could easily get over her, but she totally was. Heartbroken was an understatement, to be honest. She was more like heartshattered or heartstomped-on or hearobliterated. Even those made up words couldn’t come close to how she felt. But the thing she hated the most, is that broken bits of her heart still yearns for Lena.

 

Because of the whole scenario with Lena, it had pushed all of her hidden feelings right to the front of her thoughts so that pretty much everything she thought was associated with Lena. she thought about Lena’s smile, Lena’s lips, Lena’s laugh, the feeling of having Lena pressed on top of her, and just the way Lena made her feel in general.

 

Kara’s mom had come in on Monday morning to get her motivated for school, but Kara was too heartbroken to even get up. Kara’s mom had phone a doctor instantly because she had never seen her Kara like this before, which was true considering the fact that Kara had never fallen for anyone before.

 

Kara had immediately tried to explain to her mother that it wasn’t an illness that had her like this. She spared her mom the details but she still gave her some information about what was going on.

 

Her mother had pulled her into a reassuring embrace and told her that everyone has to go through this shitty feeling at least once and that she completely understood. She told Kara to take all the time in the world and that she was there for Kara if she needed anything. Kara absolutely loved her mum for that.

 

Kara hadn’t really eaten or slept peacefully since before that fateful and terrible Friday night and it was definitely obvious.

 

Kara had sort of just gotten the desire to finally get up this morning, but she hadn’t had the desire to try on her appearance. She was in baggy sweats and her hair was pulled back. She had barely any makeup on, so she looked extremely tired.

 

If people had still noticed her at school, they probably would have done a double take upon seeing her this morning. Since no one really paid any attention to Kara now, she managed to walk to class without anyone questioning what was up with her lately.

 

As Kara sat down in her homeroom, she meant to just slouch down on her desk and sleep away the dreary period. Before she lowered her head though, the announcement board next to the door caught her attention.

 

On the board was the word CONGRATULATIONS in big shimmering font. Underneath the word were two separate pictures. Even though Kara was sat a considerable distance from the board, she could recognize that face anywhere, especially since it had been haunting her thoughts pretty much constantly.

 

Curiosity got the best of Kara and she made her way to the front of the class to see why Lena was being congratulated.

 

Kara really wished she wouldn’t have gotten up to check.

 

Lena and Sam had own cutest couple at the dance. As she looked at the picture, she couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Lena looked. Lena always looked amazing, but she had put in a lot of effort for the dance. She had a tight red dress on that accentuated her curves nicely, but wasn’t slutty or anything like that. She had worn white heels and red lipstick. Her hair was perfection as well, and Kara’s heart broke just a little bit more when she realized she couldn’t call this beauty hers.   


Kara didn’t want to admit it, but the pair actually looked somewhat good together. Sam was wearing a suit, she kinda rocked it, if Kara was being honest. The red shirt underneath complimented Lena nicely.  It hurt Kara so much that the two actually looked good together.

 

Seeing the picture was like a full out kick to the stomach. Maybe more like seven full out kicks to the stomach. Since she was at school, Kara was able to stop the tears from forming in her eyes. She had become really good at masking her emotions at school.

 

She made her way back to her seat silently and sat down. She immediately buried her face in her hands as she realized that everything with Lena last week probably meant nothing to the girl. Kara still had her mind on the kiss, but Lena probably wasn’t giving her a second thought.

 

***

 

Sam wasn’t at school today because she had left to go on a vacation for a little with her family. It was Thursday ands he would be back Sunday night. Lena felt someone relieved, that she would be getting the break she needed for a while, to clear up her thoughts. She was glad that she would finally be able to have some time to herself. She could just relax and not have to worry about Sam’s constant presence. She was glad that she finally was getting the space from her girlfriend. She had been suffocating Lena even more since they had won that title at the dance.

 

It was also kind of weird that Lena, not having Sam around. She realized she literally spent all her free time at school with her. Since she wasn’t here today, Lena found herself wandering at the halls before her next class, not sure what to do with herself. She could go to Sam’s friends, but she only really liked them if Sam was around. She didn’t really consider them her personal friends.

As Lena walked down a deserted old art hallway, she heard two people talking. She would recognize that angelic voice anywhere. It was Kara’s. Kara was talking with what sounded like another girl just beyond the corner Lena was approaching.

 

Lena wasn’t really sure if she should listen in on this conversation. Lena knew that Kara didn’t really talk to anyone at school these days except for her sister and Winn., so she just had a bad feeling about this. Plus the more time she spent near Kara, the more she just wanted to hold her and kiss her and never let go.

 

Even though Lena just really wanted to turn around and go to class, it was like she was attracted to Kara by some invisible force. Lena stayed rooted to her spot near the corned and listened in to the conversation. She didn’t dare peek her head around the corner because she was afraid of getting caught. She wasn’t sure which direction the girls were facing in, and she didn’t want to risk Kara finding her eavesdropping.

 

 _“Kara I just want you to tell me the truth and stop being difficult. You totally cut off contact from me. Is there something I did?”_ The other girl had a pleading tone in her voice. Lena couldn’t match the voice to a face though. She was clueless as to who this other girl might be.

 

 _“I don’t’ really have an answer Siobhan…I’m really sorry”_ Kara mumbled back. Lena heard Kara wore a sincere apologetic tone, which was new to Lena. Lena could imagine Kara glancing at the floor awkwardly. Kara always looked so cute when she avoided eye contact.

 

_“You were never like this Kara…I know that for a fact. You took whatever you could get”_

 

Kara sighed heavily, Lena felt the tiredness in her voice. _“Maybe it was because there was someone else, okay?”_

 

The girl laughed exasperatedly. _“Well yeah Kara, there was always someone else…there was always at least two other people actually. Don’t use that lame excuse on me. That’s why I felt so hurt. Why would you just randomly cut off from me when you never had a problem hooking up with a lot of people at once? It just makes me feel like shit that I’m not even good enough for you”_

 

_“Look Siobhan…I don’t want to talk about it…it doesn’t even matter at this point, that was so many months ago”_

 

_“Well this is the first time I’ve been able to get you alone! I see you in the halls Kara; you always avoid all of us. You’ve made it basically impossible to corner you until now”_

 

Lena wanted to turn away now, but she still couldn’t. she didn’t want to hear Kara talking to one of the people she had been hooking up with. It made Lena feel like shit. She didn’t even care if she had been right all that time. It just hurt so much to believe that she was indeed just one of Kara’s many flings. It made her feel like complete shit because she had just let Kara use her in her little game.

 

Lena heard Kara shift her weight to her other leg before she spoke up.

 

_“I told you there was someone else alright? Some one who mattered a big fucking deal to me…I cut contact off from you because I wanted to focus on this one person. I wanted to make it fucking fair for her…even for you Siobhan. It doesn’t feel right anymore. I’m sorry but that’s just the way it is. So just move on with your life already…Leave me alone…please”_

 

At first Lena was scared listening to Kara rant like that. She couldn’t understand if Kara was on the verge of crying or being angry. Lena had seen angry Kara though, and it was most definitely frightening.

 

After Lena analyzed what Kara had said to the girl, she realized that Kara had never cut off contact from her. Kara had always kept things going with Lena. sure, Kara had stopped seeing Lena as frequently as she had in the beginning but she had never stopped talking to Lena or avoiding her.

 

That’s when it all clicked. Lena and Kara had sopped talking because Lena had occupied herself with Sam. Kara started staying with Lena after the hooking up, after the pleasurable high. This person that Kara was hinting at was her. Kara had somehow developed feelings along the way for Lena. Lena wanted to slap herself for not realizing it sooner. Instead of distancing herself from Kara, she should have just finally come out with her feelings for the girl.

 

If Lena had just done that from the start, she would have saved herself many months of heartbreak, plus she wouldn’t be so deep in this situation with Sam. Lena wished so much that things were simpler right now so that she could just walk around the corner and press her lips to Kara’s but it wouldn’t be that easy.

 

Lena was snapped back to her senses when she heard footsteps getting closer. Lena was rooted to the spot because she realized she had absolutely nowhere to go in the amount of time that it would take the person to reach her. She just hoped that it wasn’t Kara that was approaching.

 

Luck was on Lena’s side because it was Siobhan that rounded the corner with tears in her eyes. The girl pushed past Lena quickly before hurrying down the hallway and entering the girl’s toilets.

 

Lena held her breath as she listened for more footsteps, but she didn’t hear any approaching her. She let out her breath and hesitantly turned the corner.

 

Kara was nowhere in sight. The blonde must have taken off in the opposite direction of Siobhan after their little confrontation. Lena sighed heavily when she realized she wouldn’t be able to see Kara’s face after waiting all of this time. She continued down the hallway and finally made her way to class.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update. i promise to update sooner after this. i had to finish some school stuff first :) enjoy. leave some comments and love.


	10. Mask

Kara trudged to the locker room after gym class. She had been talking to her gym teacher about the classes she had missed how it would affect her grade. Her teacher had written her a pass so that she wouldn’t be late to the next period, so Kara had all the time in the world to change.

 

As Kara entered the locker room, it appeared as if the last couple of girls changing were just about ready to leave. Kara made her way to her locker and was about to lift her shirt over her head when a voice stopped her dead in her movements.

 

“You’re back”

 

Kara’s head whipped around because that was definitely the voice she always loved. It was Lena. She wanted to slap herself for not remembering that Lena had an off period and waited for a little bit to change. Lena had probably been off at the toilets when Kara had arrived in the locker room and that was why she hadn’t noticed that Lena was in here still.

 

“You noticed I was gone?” Kara actually was really shocked that Lena had taken an interest in her absence from school. But unlike before, she feels defenseless now in front of Lena. She doesn’t even mind anymore, she didn’t want to put up a façade that was entirely different of what she truly felt. She figured Lena had just gone on with her life anyway, only paying attention to Sam. She looked down and stopped herself from taking off her shirt.

 

 _“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to talk to you”_ Lena took a few step closer. She was a couple feet from Kara now.

 

_“I wanted to see you. I wanted to make sure you’re okay. And Just seeing you now in person, has lifted a weight off my chest. I was worried”_

 

Kara cocked her head to the side. None of this was adding up at all. Since when did Lena care about her? Then there was a long pause. The two of them were staring longingly at each other’s eyes. Kara had to speak first.

 

“Why were you worried?” _Please just say it. Say those three words._ Lena was stunned. She couldn’t say a word. She is just overwhelmed by all her feelings for Kara.

 

_Another long pause._

“I guess that doesn’t matter anymore. I’m back and you can see that I’m fine…so”

 

“Kara…you don’t look okay”

 

Kara was taken aback that Lena could read her so easily. Lena was seeing right through her and Kara wasn’t sure if she should be frustrated about that, or completely relieved.

 

“it doesn’t matter. Stop distracting me. I have class. I need to get—“

 

Kara’s sentence was cut off because Lena had stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her like there’s no tomorrow.

 

Kara wasn’t sure if she should hug her back because she knew it would only give her more heartache later on. She knew this was probably just another meaningless thing for Lena. at the same time though, Kara just love the warmth feeling of Lena’s embrace. It made her feel like she was on top of the world. Even though she wanted to push Lena away, she ended up wrapping her arms around the brunette’s waist and pulled her even closer.

 

Kara almost smiled at the bliss that she’s in right now when she suddenly heard Lena break into small sobs. Kara felt tears building up at the collar of her shirt. Instead, Kara tried to let herself go from the tight embrace but she couldn’t. Lena was crying profusely and Kara let her. Lena pour out all her emotions into her tears. She shouldn’t be crying like a mad woman, but she couldn’t suppress all her feelings for Kara. She loved Kara so damn much, all the heartbreak that she brought upon the girl, all the heartache she brought upon herself is driving her crazy. Kara drives her crazy. And she just doesn’t want to let Kara go at this very moment. She loves Kara. That’s all she knows.

 

Kara didn’t know what to feel actually. She just stood there and even squeezed Lena harder, just to let her know, that she’s there. She’s there for Lena. Kara wasn’t crying though, she was devastated about everything they’ve been through, but she had enough of it. She was drained.

 

Lena pulled away and wiped some of the tears away.

 

 “I want us to be a thing again...I missed…you so much…” Lena could barely finish the sentence. This had been Lena’s way of telling Kara that she missed her and wanted to spend time with her again. She was still too scared to confess her feelings for the blonde, so she figured those words would be a good way to ease back into things.

 

 _Thing?_ Kara focused on that term.

                                                                                                                                                                                           

The thing was, Lena’s question had completely offended Kara. She did not want to be lead on or just be back in hooking up with Lena again.  She had developed major feelings for Lena, and she couldn’t just let Lena persuade her to be back to being a “thing” again. She wanted Lena to be hers and no one else’s. Their old arrangement Lena was asking for wouldn’t work ever again.

 

“Seriously? I can’t believe you still have the nerve to do this to me Lena. You’re gonna walk up right here, and hug me and cry like shit and then ask me that” Kara almost growled and that just change the atmosphere for both of them. Lena looked taken aback and took a step back but she still kept her hands on Kara’s shoulder.

 

“I thought that’s something you would want...Kara please. I want you back”

 

“I’m not happy Lena, All you’ve done so far is kiss me, hug me and leave. And I’m pretty sure that’s what you were just about to do again”

 

“Well you can’t blame me for having that impression, you’ve done the same thing in the past Kara!”

 

“I did start to stay for you Lena, you can’t ignore the fact that I was finally starting to stick around, but then you started pushing me away and started dating this Sam and you forgot about me!”

 

Lena’s eyes filled with tears were now lit up in anger. “Like I said, I was tired of being used!”

 

Tears betrayed Kara’s eyes. “You weren’t being used Lena! I thought I was making that clear because I was spending time with you and only you! I opened myself up to you. If that makes it look like I was using you, then you’re insane!”

 

“I just wanted a relationship… you didn’t give me that Kara. Sam did. It’s your fault we’re even in this position.”

 

The mention of Lena’s relationship made the tears fall from Kara’s eyes. Kara could see Lena’s eyes soften when she saw that Kara was crying now, but Kara wasn’t going to let that affect her.

 

“Well congrats, you got your perfect relationship that you wanted. Glad to see you having the best time of your life. Glad to see Sam could give you what you wanted”

 

“But I can’t do this. I can’t just hook up with you meaninglessly because I think what I want should be taken into consideration now. Now I want a relationship. I want one with you. If you want to kiss me, you need to make me yours, you need to make me yours because I’ve fallen for you and I don’t think I’ll ever get over that. I can’t take the heartache of kissing you…or hugging you but then watching you go right back to Sam like I don’t mean anything. So for the time being, just leave me alone and go be with your perfect girlfriend because I can’t take any more pain”

 

With that, Kara whipped around quickly and took her bag. She slammed her locker without even glancing at Lena once. She hurried out of the locker room while brushing away her tears, leaving Lena crying silently by herself.

 

***

 

Lena hated herself for hiding her feelings once again. She realized that it just got her nowhere each and every time. The first time, she ended up losing Kara and ending up trapped with Sam. This time, she was completely shattered and caught off guard because Kara felt the exact same way. But she had ruined it.

 

What made everything so much worse was that her number one distraction was out of town. Sam was miles and miles away and wasn’t even responding to any of her texts.  The whole school day she had wished that Sam would have texted her back more frequently so that she could stay occupied. Instead, she found her mind drifting to Kara during her classes. She couldn’t help it. Kara had dropped a lot on her and then just left without letting Lena explain herself or attempt to organize her thoughts.

_This sucks_ was the only thought that ran through Lena’s head as she slowly trudged from class to class. She was glad that she didn’t bump into anyone that would try to initiate conversation with her because she knew she would probably just start crying. She didn’t want everyone to think she was an emotional mess, especially Kara.

 

Lena had decided that she needed a strong mask now more than ever. She couldn’t show Kara how much this was affecting her. She knew this wasn’t true, she knew both of them was dying inside.

 

For the most part of the rest of the day, Lena had done a superb job at keeping her mask up at all times. She acted normally around everyone. She carried conversations with many people and they never realized anything was wrong. It was exhausting work for Lena though. She just couldn’t wait to go home and take the mask off. She just needed to let everything out again.

 

Finally, the end of the day came. Lena was proud of herself for staying strong for so long, bt she had to admit that she was extremely tired. She was so tired that she figured she would just go home and go straight to her bed. She found extreme happiness in the prospect of just going to sleep right away. She wasn’t even going to do her homework or phone Sam.

 

Lena had let her guard down though, and it was probably the worst possible time for her to do that. She was just so tired. It hadn’t even really registered with her completely that it was Kara making her way towards her at the other end of the crowded hallway.

 

It was also really hard to keep her mask up when she was so positive that she wanted to be with Kara. She couldn’t do that to Sam though.

 

Lena was snapped from her thoughts when she realized that those beautiful blue eyes at the other end of the hallway could only belong to one person: Kara. She didn’t know why, but _my Kara_ rang through her mind.

 

To add insult to injury, Kara wasn’t alone. To make it even worse than that, Kara was with Winn. And worst of all, she looked completely over the moon with happiness. Lena was surprised Kara could recover quickly from her crying state earlier that day.

 

It made Lena want to cry even more because she felt completely terrible. She had no one to turn to. Sam was gone. Kara on the other hand, had Winn and she just looked so happy to be with him. Lena realized that Kara was right, she brought this all upon to herself, she had hurt Kara, in the process she was also hurting Sam. She’s a terrible person and she’s in an unbelievable kind of mess.

 

In that moment, Lena knew that she wasn’t going to go home and fall asleep straight away. She knew there was going to be a fair amount of crying before she would be able to calm herself down enough to drift off to sleep. Lena took her eyes off of Kara and kept them glued to the floor as she walked past the blonde, so emotionally distraught that she knew tears would be pouring down her cheeks the second she was alone.

 

Little did Lena know, only about fifteen minutes ago, Kara had been an emotional wreck. She had run into Winn and he could immediately tell something was up by taking one look at her eyes. The obvious sign was that they had been red and puffy, but Winn also knew Kara. The look she had been giving him was one full of anguish and misery.

 

When Winn had questioned Kara, she had immediately broken down. Tears came spilling out of her eyes and down her cheeks. She had told Winn about everything. Everything that mattered to her which was Lena. She told him how her and Lena had met at the party, how they reunited in the locker room that one fateful day, how they had hooked up for some time, how Lena found Sam and everything else, not even sparing Winn the little pesky details about all emotions she had felt since the beginning.

 

Winn had engulfed Kara in one of the most comforting hugs she had ever had, and stroked her hair to calm her down. She had loved the fact that Winn didn’t say any of that stupid shit like ‘oh maybe she’ll come around or ‘you don’t need her’ because they both knew that those would just give Kara false hope. Instead, Winn had just let her cry her eyes out. Kara was so grateful she had a friend like him in her life. She wasn’t exactly sure when Winn had become such a close one, but she was glad she had found him, because she had really needed someone in moments like these.

 

It had just been a coincidence that as she turned the corner of the hallway Winn had finally managed to get her to laugh and crack a smile. She had been so distraught up until then. When she looked down the hallway after grinning at Winn she saw Lena. it was that simple, Lena had caught her in the only moment she had actually been smiling.

 

Both of them had been putting up masks to hide their true feelings, when really all they had wanted to do was find a way into the other’s arms and tell them exactly how they felt.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the little delay of this short chapter, the end is near for this work. But I'm planning to write something new for you guys. So keep the love coming. I hope ya'll are having a good day. Thank you for all the support, for the mean time, tune in for the next chapter. love you guys.

**Author's Note:**

> Kara is depicted as not the usual Kara we know from the tv series, I wanted to change some elements of her for the story. 
> 
> Lena is depicted as the normal intelligent kid in high school, who let loose around Kara, but the type who gets attached.
> 
> Theres some role reversal here, since we're fond of reading Lena as the one who is fond of casual hook up. So let's see where this pans out. Leave some comments :)


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